## Process - Desire to connect deeply with others as soulmates - [[INFJ romantic interests should first start as friends]] - Iffy since it's close to sexuality - Can lead to misinterpretation - Ends up making people fall for you, especially if they long for meaningful relationships - I personally still struggle to understand the line between platonic and romantic with the people I meet. With such a heavy emphasis on someone's personality instead of traditional romantic factors like appearance, it takes time to truly cultivate these feelings and trust, even if it feels like it's already been established. From personal experience, months are not enough, and I should at least see how change can influence dynamics - When you really do care about them, the line gets blurry. Especially with my sexualized upbringing, it's hard for it to subconsciously bleed into perceptions and desires - I think it's important to **not rush things romantically and to just continue exploring the other person** - Does that mean I haven't experienced reciprocal love, just limerence? - Seek reciprocity to continue thriving off of connection and love - Attention, affection - [[Viewing your crush objectively]] ### Values - Opening up with character, deeper ideas, vulnerable creations - Sincere encouragement - Care ## Potential Compatiblity - ISFJ - INTP - ENFP - INFJ - Nothing but good sentiment, someone who actually understands you xd ### Requirements - Being curious about the world - Meaningful and intentional vision for life - Authenticity - Emotional intelligence - Growth mindset - Passionate, playful, vibrant, deep, exploratory, adventurous, humorous, healing, committed, transformative, enduring and unconditional. - Understanding, kind, open-minded, accepting, witty, funny, loyal, honest, accommodating, caring - Communication compatibility, willingness to cooperate - Need to be stable when the other person isn't - Ambition, intelligence, chivalry, humor - infj are often misunderstood, so finding someone who not only can relate, but discuss these things with their own perspectives allows for more open-mindfulness and broader views for you and them. It also makes it all the more stimulating and just overall nice to have around. - good communication - acceptance and emotional support - freedom and space - safety—loyalty - fluency in speaking each other’s love language - financial responsibility - growth (as partners and individuals). - **Don't confess blatantly unless you are very certain** - Know them for longer - wait until you see them in different situations - Just try to start a conversation and get to know each other - Show don't tell - Being single minded, being direct but not overwhelming , and being dedicated in your pursuit - Show how weird you are - Not into conventional way - Painfully sincere and the self you are - Being listened to is nice but it's worthless if they can't make an interesting comment about what they've just heard. Active [[Listening]] is vital, that includes following up with validation, insights and new ideas on the topic. - someone be worth listening to. I really don't want to talk endlessly about my feelings and it's difficult to be attracted to someone unless they're actively revealing their own self too. Also talking about other topics I can find interesting - in touch with their inner child enough to be able to goof around, to laugh at himself when he makes mistakes, and to be curious about the world around him - being open to new experiences I guess - wants a real person - reading books, having some passion - have a plan with life - a deep understanding in order for me to enter a relationship. my opinions, the way i see the world, who i am as a person, and my interpretations & perspective of situations, things, and people. truly see me and understand who i am. ### Filtering - Learning more about them by seeing their thought process, values, and character in action - You then slowly map out how compatible a future is with them ### Knowing when to pursue Do they enjoy spending time alone with you? Do they like talking to you? Do they usually take your calls? Or, if you’re not much of a caller, do they usually return your texts or emails without delay? Do they call, text, or email you about as often as you do? Are you compatible? Do you feel genuinely comfortable around this person? Do you find that they treat you with dignity and respect? #### Guidelines - Make sure it's safe - true friends should be understanding on how [[You are not your feelings]] - once you find the courage - don't wait or else you'll overthink - quickly do it and tell them - Hypothetically what do you think it would be like if we dated - More receptive, get to talk about it together rather than on your own - Shared history, imply your definition of romantic relationships - memorable experiences and shared feelings - share how you've been thinking about it and that you're unsure - open to exploring a romantic connection in the future - let you know that I've been contemplating a romantic connection. However, I understand if you're not on the same page at the moment, and I value our friendship regardless. ### [[Staying friends instead of pursuing romance]]