https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ4UdEbeLyw&ab_channel=LaurenSapala - romantic obsession - secret relationships, no one knows about it - > I'm an INFP in a 10 year relationship with an INFJ male. We idealized each other for years without the other knowing. We took 6 years to start dating! And because we were so idealizing of each other, we ended up working so hard to live up to each other's standards and apparently never disappointing each other. We have never gotten past the honeymoon phase and our relationship is filled with art. - idealize them - if we don't get to know them, we then keep their ideal / potential - place existential needs on that person - inspired to do better, used as creative focus - either disappoint or reject infj (rejection of what you put on them or literally you) - through intimate contact, we see how human they are, their ideal - that's when we start to reject them - no one knows this cycle happened - it's okay to have these secret relationships - most self-aware because they care of other people's feelings