- Need to be compatible as friends before having that deeper connection - Usually will not realize romantic feelings until once you get to really know them, so will start as friendship first - [[INFJ platonic and romantic are on the same dimension]] - This is important since friendships have no expectations. You spend time with them just because you enjoy their company, and it's reciprocal. If you can't have a friendship of unconditional positive regard then how can you spend a future with them? - getting to know them is an end in itself - anyone who can spark that connection in you is worth time and energy ## It is a common prerequisite https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/nere22/is_friendship_the_gateway_to_becoming/ - Dated on and off, but getting close again ## Another post https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/q8fjnp/dating_friends_and_infj_thing/ - Demisexuality is a common theme - chances only go up the more you and your friend attempt to understand each other and talk about even the most random of things. - 2-4 weeks of meeting them bruh - Can be slow to warm up - Friendship is a base - after establishing a good connection you can determine which you want - I guess my only fear for this route is jealousy qq - Dating a genuine friend is absolutely taboo to me. Yes, all my romantic relationships were build on friendship but with the explicit understanding on my part that I saw these people as potential partners from the beginning. I feel very strongly about people who claim they "suddenly caught feelings". That's a recipe for disaster and imo strongly connected to lying to yourself about your own behaviour and motives. - > I’ve experienced months-long nausea (when younger), extreme fatigue (needing like 12+ hour sleep), feeling just overall anxious and overthinking. It’s kind of crazy how much my body will be like… so we’re gonna break down now. ## Growing independently into competent beings - we both grew up and got a lot of dating/relationship experience under our belts, and I developed some confidence. I started to see him in a new light as being one very big constant in my life, the person who makes me laugh the most and simultaneously feel most unconditionally accepted for who I am, whereas I felt most other friends drifted away over time ## Differentiating platonic vs romantic https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/ehbhw0/has_a_platonic_friendship_of_yours_ever_developed/fciq8pj/ - Usually friends for a decade before knowing - One person usually questions, gets turned down, but continue as friends until feelings reciprocate - Important to know whether the reason is incompatibility or personal Yep! My current partner was a close, best friend for a while. I had thoughts like, he'd be a good dad, he'd be a good partner- but I wasn't attracted to him. I spent more time with him, he shared that he had feelings for me. I turned him down and told him I didn't feel the same. But then I imagined not spending every weekend with him. (He lives two hours away and drove to see me every time). And then I pictured him spending those weekends with another woman and I realized, damn, I have hella feelings for him. I don't know why I tried denying them for so long. Maybe I subconsciously was buying time to get to know him more? Either way, my mind made a quick big flip. I'm really happy with him, and I'm glad we spent so long as friends prior.