[https://youtu.be/8TL-K-dc4n4?si=wcq4V1kwkhp9cLq1](https://youtu.be/8TL-K-dc4n4?si=wcq4V1kwkhp9cLq1) When we start to value something we have no experience of, we begin to fantasize since we don't have any concrete experience he claims that attachment make success harder so we should detach if we idealize beyond the average expectation, and we get the expectation, we will see it as a negative experience even though it is just what is expected this is especially prevalent in dating when you idealize because your partner probably can't fulfill that desire