IFS is a form of [[Psychotherapy]] that sees the [[Self]] as not one entity, but consisting of a lot of different [[IFS Parts]] — the [[Dialogical self]]. We personify them into beings we can interact with and learn about: ![[Self-Therapy A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy#^eclpu1]] My notes for IFS are more practical and brief because they were taken from [[Self-Therapy A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy|Self-Therapy Book]] which takes on a guide approach to learning it. So these notes are mostly for keeping track of the practices at my disposal, as well as take notes on common themes and patterns I can use to find clarity during friction points in my own sessions. ## Principles ### Beyond a session Although we can experience great progress and transformation in a session, it's important we regularly check in with our parts to ensure the change persists. If we find ourselves drifting back, we can always remind ourselves by repeating the healing/re-parenting process. ## Benefits The main objective is to listen to and heal the hurt parts of ourselves through an [[Agape|agapic]] Self. The three main qualities in the book: - [[Connectedness]] - We're receptive to feeling connected with the world and ourselves, which makes it easier to host an environment of vulnerability - [[Curiosity]] - Helps us continue to learn about the parts in an open-minded way - [[Compassion]] - To hold space for our exiles, and to appreciate protectors It reminds me ofself mentioned as [[Participatory knowing]] , with the parts being [[Perspectival knowing]]? A problem with traditional therapy is how we may shallowly try to solve our deeply rooted issues. When our self is under control by one of our parts in an unhealthy way, we may diagnose it as the problem. But IFS argues that it's only a symptom of a deeper part of us stuck in the past with an experience we haven't fully processed and that this surfaced part of us is ultimately acting for our best intentions. It also doesn't make sense to exile our active protector parts that comprise us. For example: ![[Self-Therapy A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy#^tx1llc]] Continuing to look at the best intent of all parts, to be deeply curious and willing to engage in dialogue to understand their motives and nature. We have a natural tendency to avoid pain through these visible parts, [[Protectors]] A part of why I might be fascinated by it is because it can be seen as "[non-jargony Jung](https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/14xwcsi/comment/jrpm2ko/)" Here's the formatted version in markdown: ## Protocol From [[Self-Therapy A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy|Self-Therapy Book]]: Here is the entire sequence of steps for the IFS process. They generally happen in sequence, but there are times when they naturally need to occur in a somewhat different order. 1. Getting to know a protector - P1: Accessing a part - P2: Unblending from the target part - P3: Unblending from a concerned part - P4: Discovering a protector’s positive intent - P5: Developing a trusting relationship with a protector 2. Getting permission to work with an exile 3. Getting to know an exile (see [[Exiles]]) - E1: Accessing an exile - E2: Unblending from an exile - E3: Unblending from a concerned part - E4: Learning about an exile - E5: Developing a trusting relationship with an exile 4. Accessing and witnessing childhood memories - ![[Self-Therapy A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy#^m09nat]] 5. Reparenting an exile - ![[Self-Therapy A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy#^kh2sgg]] 6. Retrieving an exile 7. Unburdening an exile 8. Transforming a protector ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jf0x5bt51cgesmarcznpts1n)) ### Details %% #### P1. Accessing a Part - If the part is not activated, imagine yourself in a recent situation when the part was activated. Sense the part in your body or evoke an image of the part. - Can also be accessed via [[IFS Trailhead|Trailhead]] #### P2. Unblending Target Part [[IFS Blending]] - Check if you are charged up with the part's emotions or caught up in its beliefs right now. If so, you are blended. Check how you feel toward the target part right now. If you can't tell, you may be blended. If you are blended with the target part, here are some options for unblending: - Ask the part to separate from you so you can get to know it - Move back internally to separate from the part - See an image of the part at a distance from you or draw the part - Visualize the part in a room to provide a container for it - Do a short centering/grounding meditation If the part doesn't separate, ask what it is afraid would happen if it did. Explain to it the value of separating and reassure it about its fears. #### P3. Unblending Concerned Part [[IFS Blending]] Check how you feel toward the target part right now. If you feel compassionate and curious, you are in Self and can move on to P4. If not, then unblend the concerned part: - Ask the concerned part if it would be willing to step aside (or relax) just for now so you can get to know the target part from an open place - If it does, check again how you feel toward the target part, and repeat - If it isn't willing to step aside, explain to it the value of stepping aside - If it still won't, ask what it is afraid would happen if it did, and reassure it about its fears - If it still won't, make the concerned part the target part and work with it #### P4. Discovering a Protector's Role [[Protectors]] Invite the part to tell you about itself. The part may answer in words, images, body sensations, emotions, or direct knowing. Questions you can ask the part: - What do you feel? - What are you concerned about? - What is your role? What do you do to perform this role? - What do you hope to accomplish by playing this role? - What are you afraid would happen if you didn't do this? #### P5. Developing a Trusting Relationship with a Protector [[IFS Blending]] You can foster trust by saying the following to the protector (if true): - I understand why you (do your role) - I appreciate your efforts on my behalf - I know you've been working very hard #### 2. Getting Permission to Work With an Exile If necessary, ask the protector to show you the exile. Ask its permission to get to know the exile. If it won't give permission, ask what it is afraid would happen if you accessed the exile. Possibilities are: - The exile has too much pain. Explain that you will stay in Self and get to know the exile, not dive into its pain - There isn't any point in going into the pain. Explain that there is a point—you can heal the exile - The protector will have no role and therefore be eliminated. Explain that the protector can choose a new role in your psyche #### 3. Getting to Know an Exile ##### E1: Accessing an Exile - Sense its emotions, feel it in your body, or get an image of it ##### E2: Unblending From an Exile If you are blended with an exile: - Ask the exile to contain its feelings so you can be there for it - Consciously separate from the exile and return to Self - Get an image of the exile at a distance from you - Do a centering/grounding induction If the exile won't contain its feelings: - Ask it what it is afraid would happen if it did - Explain that you really want to witness its feelings and story, but you need to be separate to do that - Conscious blending: If you can tolerate it, allow yourself to feel the exile's pain ##### E3: Unblending Concerned Parts - Check how you feel toward the exile. If you aren't in Self or don't feel compassion, unblend from any concerned parts - They are usually afraid of your becoming overwhelmed by the exile's pain - Explain that you will stay in Self and not let the exile overwhelm ##### E4: Finding Out about an Exile - Ask: What do you feel? What makes you feel so scared or hurt (or any other feeling)? ##### E5: Developing a Trusting Relationship with an Exile - Let the exile know that you want to hear its story - Communicate to it that you feel compassion and caring toward it - Check to see if the exile can sense you there and notice how if it is taking in your compassion #### Help Sheet 3: Healing an Exile ##### 4. Accessing and Witnessing Childhood Origins - Ask the exile to show you an image or a memory of when it learned to feel this way in childhood - Ask the exile how this made it feel - Check to make sure the part has shown you everything it wants to be witnessed. After witnessing, check to see if the exile believes that you understand how bad it was ##### 5. Reparenting an Exile - Bring yourself (as Self) into the childhood situation and ask the exile what it needs from you to heal it or change what happened; then give that to the exile through your internal imagination - Check to see how the exile is responding to the reparenting - If it can't sense you or isn't taking in your caring, ask why and work with that ##### 6: Retrieving an Exile - One of the things the exile may need is to be taken out of the childhood situation and brought into a place where it can feel safe and comfortable - You can bring it into some place in your present life, your body, or an imaginary place ##### 7. Unburdening an Exile - Name the burdens (painful feelings or negative beliefs) that the exile is carrying. Ask the exile if it wants to release the burdens and if it is ready to do so - If it doesn't want to, ask what it is afraid would happen if it let go of them. Then handle those fears - How does the exile carry the burdens in or on its body? - What would the exile like to release the burdens to? Light, water, wind, earth, fire, or anything else - Once the burdens are gone, notice what positive qualities or feelings arise in the exile ##### 8. Releasing the Protective Role - Check if the protector is aware of the transformation of the exile. If not, introduce the exile to the protector - See if the protector now realizes that its protective role is no longer necessary. The protector can choose a new role in your psyche %%