How are we supposed to know who we are loving if we look at them through our judgment? My [Intuition](https://oldnotes.johnmavrick.com/intuition/) tendencies cause me to idolize my romantic interests, focusing more on their potential rather than who they are now. I think such optimism is beneficial to give them room to grow to your expectations, but at the same time, you begin to infatuate yourself with your own imagination. This not only causes [Self-deception](https://oldnotes.johnmavrick.com/self-deception/) but also unhealthily increases your feelings towards them to the point of borderline attachment (see [Love without attachment](https://oldnotes.johnmavrick.com/love-without-attachment/))