--- ## Summary - How is the discomfort you’re facing right now going to help you grow? - How can you make this experience more immediately rewarding? - What evidence do you have that you can handle this? - What resources do you have—strengths, preparation, or social support—that can help you rise to the demands of your current challenge? - Have people survived this challenge or similar ones in the past? How did they respond? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hxm9fzq22tqeyvw86y63at)) ## Notes [[Embracing discomfort]] [[Joy cultivates perseverance]] [[Psychological Distancing]] [[Remember your previous wins and progress]] ## Highlights II. Make the here and now awesome ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3ct9qqdah6e04eg3mb5j853)) Courtney will tell herself jokes, pause to give people high fives, daydream about eating nachos on the beach, and sometimes will just simply breathe in and enjoy the scenery. She makes the experience joyful wherever and whenever possible. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3ctaby04xq1q9e2wg0crgqq)) it provides your brain with immediate rewards rather than it having to rely exclusively on distant rewards. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3ctc8cdy1np38yhbab565s0)) immediate rewards and enjoyment were around three times better at driving persistence than distant rewards! ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3ctdkc68dw2fz98h7ne18hd)) ### New highlights added June 21, 2023 at 8:12 PM If you’d like to read more about delay discounting, check out [this](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-69700-w) great research paper or [this](https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2012-35338-003.html) one) ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3gda4kgg51mmcjm0vqgxmcn)) So, Twitter strategy… there is absolutely none, aside from having fun,” and then continued: “If you want to be great at anything, you just have to enjoy it and then if you enjoy it you’re consistent at it.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3gdf150ecx4vh7pkbny2khe)) most of the study participants told Woolley and Fischbach that they believed distant rewards were a superior source of motivation! Even many of the most persistent participants (those who were deriving the highest level of immediate rewards from their activity) still _said_ they planned to rely on distant rewards to motivate themselves moving forward: ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3gdrs0a9qn0cb0jjd3wbkz6)) Most of us have this natural tendency to overly obsess over the outcome ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3gds4qd9av9tq10pvtxtbqb)) this combination of leading with pleasure first and then leaning into pain when it eventually arrives that will optimize your maximal endurance ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3gefb7w0qxk14akv5ndd2k7)) III. Get some space ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3gefjyjed7bybnxpzm067r1)) Using “you” instead of “I” when talking to yourself, or calling yourself by your own name, is an example of “distanced self-talk”. A large body of evidence has been stacking up to suggest that this deceptively simple technique can help you tap into your deeper willpower reserves. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3getkcmnbb7qqag7ftaew1k)) ### New highlights added June 22, 2023 at AM - Psychological distancing strategies have been [found](http://selfcontrol.psych.lsa.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/2167702619896366.pdf) to enhance the ability to maintain self-control in the face of temptation and stick to a healthy diet. - Distanced self talk can [help](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103116307764) us view future stressors as challenges rather than threats, leading to a more adaptive cardiovascular stress response. - Couples who [adopt](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/242334284_A_Brief_Intervention_to_Promote_Conflict_Reappraisal_Preserves_Marital_Quality_Over_Time) a distanced perspective stay together longer on average and [have](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2881638/) more forgiving and less blameful arguments. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hx0ptc5x0tjrfp80bwm2sz)) When people used distancing language to reflect on their feelings, the emotional activity in their brain radically dampened down. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hx1me3zwqevftzy94kv8rd)) the emotional relief happened in less than a second ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hx263c73v5twvm6vj3sjfx)) . Collect your evidenc ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hx2h153b1mrv0qjf0sj58q)) threat response”. It’s well established that this biological stress response sabotages our performance and damages our health and well being. It produces a rise in “catabolic” hormones—like cortisol and cytokines—which are associated with inflammation, breakdown, and many of the long term health issues we’ve heard tied to stress. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hx7znh504d96dsmyrn33bw)) challenge response”—their hormone response flipped as their cortisol reactivity cooled off and their testosterone reactivity amped up. Contrary to the threat response, our challenge response acts as a performance enhancing drug. It makes us more confident, focused, resilient, and fosters a bias for action. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hx8e220ns90zyg7shm971k)) challenge response allows you to get all the benefits of stress while protecting you from its negative consequences. It does so by producing “anabolic” hormones—including testosterone but also others like estrogen and human growth hormone—which counteract the catabolic effects of cortisol. Jeremy calls this “the biology of courage.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hx93gjkx5azec0w2gr52fa)) we adopt a challenge response or a threat response is all about how we perceive our situation. More specifically, how we feel about the demands of a situation relative to the internal/external resources we have to handle it. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hxbjz8a8m79t75t8fkgj88)) the first ever direct evidence that gratitude can activate a challenge response was [published](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/55917f64e4b0cd3b4705b68c/t/62745d8d20bf6e719a9d44b1/1651793295587/gu.ocampo.algoe.oveis.2022.pdf). When teams reminded each other of a time they were grateful for something their partners did ahead of a business pitch, they expressed the biology of challenge rather than threat. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hxh2nx7dgw80jrddzjfm7x)) All of this research comes together to offer a host of simple but profoundly useful questions you can ask yourself during trying times: - How is the discomfort you’re facing right now going to help you grow? - How can you make this experience more immediately rewarding? - What evidence do you have that you can handle this? - What resources do you have—strengths, preparation, or social support—that can help you rise to the demands of your current challenge? - Have people survived this challenge or similar ones in the past? How did they respond? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h3hxm9fzq22tqeyvw86y63at))