## Notes [[INFJs process other people's emotions and energy for them]] ## Highlights we never feel good enough that energy of never feelingentirely adequate never feeling likewe're measuring up that drives many ofthe life choices and the behaviors of usINFJs because of this we tend to becomeover Achievers people PleasersWorkaholics and compulsive accommodators ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fam68rqg56kd9vntnspkbz)) INFJs have apattern of going into really stressfuljobs and quickly becoming indispensablein that really stressful job ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbeaw6kjs38vs1g9resbc4)) we are people Pleasers so we are alwaystrying to figure out what the peoplearound us want what would bring Harmonyto the group and then we're alwaysaiming for that goal even if we'resacrificing our own needs or our own happiness to do that ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbf21hpbvcyy4jcv81dqzx)) what is driving this the um the basicreally deep entrenched belief that we'renot good enough ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbg5z2772sdc6dfn3sc50j)) INFJs are out of balance in this waywhere we're giving giving giving butwe're not receiving very much back so that balance is skewed and then we endup burned out because we run out ofenergy and there's nothing left toreplenish itso usually we will have this Crash andBurn period we totally hermit out ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbjwdwama0c2txjcwcymqc)) what is theroot of this feeling of never feelinggood enough well for most INFJs the root is in childhood many INFJs lived with anarcissistic parent this is very commonor lived with a negligent parent and bynegligent I mean the parent might nothave been actively narcissistic theywere in the household they weren'tactually physically absent but they mayhave had mental illness or addictionissues or just some sort of big lifeproblem they were dealing with wherethey couldn't really be present for the infj child so the infj child had to takecare of themselves a lot ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbkmdkv3m7jd2jrj4t892y)) they learned how to achieveachieve a lot on their own ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbm5wqabgxk02vnckfn4fe)) weinternalize this feeling of my parentsnot giving me the love I need my parentsnot there to connect with me this mustbe because I'm not good enough ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbn86jsad6wn2q8zn32rr7)) I only have worth if I'm useful toothers I only have worth of othersapprove of me this is where thatpeople-pleasing piece comes in ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbp8b4answ7wa2djrr5r7v)) when you lovesomeone you manage their feelings forthem ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbpmsnbved1xw4bdjxcx88)) that negligent parent the codependent parent ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbpv37xw7jkaaaj8d6m8db)) the parent who really couldn'temotionally connect with us and be theparent we needed them to be ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbq0h4pmeehf9a48qr4a0e)) it's my job to manage mom's feelings orit's my job to manage dad's feelings andthen we carry that over into adulthood ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbqb9kv59r900afrjpv1rd)) another belief we carry is when you lovesomeone you process their energy forthem this is why a lot of INFJs end upas untrained empaths where we're justabsorbing the energy of everyone we come ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbrbs5fy26rwafcqrzaxmh)) there's no way we can process allof the energy we are getting fromeveryone ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h6fbrke5jgb8aq4zcejgkgzz))