## Summary ## Notes ## Highlights There is within each one of us a “life instinct,” which is forever working toward health, happiness, and all that makes for more life for the individual. This “life instinct” works for you through what I call the “Creative Mechanism” or, when used correctly, the “Success Mechanism” built into each human being. (Location 448) the so-called subconscious mind is not a “mind” at all, but a mechanism—a goal-striving “servo-mechanism” consisting of the brain and nervous system, which is used by, and directed by the mind. (Location 452) This Creative Mechanism within you is impersonal. It will work automatically and impersonally to achieve goals of success and happiness, or unhappiness and failure, depending on the goals that you yourself set for it. (Location 461) goals that our own Creative Mechanism seeks to achieve are mental images, or mental pictures, which we create by the use of imagination. (Location 470) “If you can remember, worry, or tie your shoe” are key to understanding how easy it is to get results using Psycho-Cybernetics, (Location 489) In order to direct your servo-mechanism toward success instead of failure, all you need is one experience that made you feel good about yourself. Remembering and then using that modest accomplishment will be instrumental in improving your self-image. (Location 492) Man, on the other hand, has something animals don’t: Creative Imagination. Thus man of all creatures is more than a creature, he is also a creator. With his imagination he can formulate a variety of goals. (Location 537) The word “cybernetics” comes from a Greek word that means, literally, “the steersman.” Servo-mechanisms are so constructed that they automatically “steer” their way to a goal, target, or “answer.” (Location 554) Psycho-Cybernetics does not say that man is a machine. Rather, it says that man has a machine that he uses. (Location 559) Servo-mechanisms are divided into two general types: (1) where the target, goal, or answer is known and the objective is to reach it or accomplish it, and (2) where the target or answer is not known and the objective is to discover or locate it. The human brain and nervous system operate in both ways. (Location 562) There must be a corrective device, however, that will respond to negative feedback. When negative feedback informs the mechanism that it is “off the beam,” too far to the right, the corrective mechanism automatically causes the rudder to move so that it will steer the machine back to the left. (Location 569) The torpedo accomplishes its goal by going forward, making errors, and continually correcting them. By a series of zigzags it literally gropes its way to the goal. (Location 573) Once, however, a correct or “successful response” has been accomplished, it is “remembered” for future use. (Location 589) when we set out to find a new idea, or the answer to a problem, we must assume that the answer exists already—somewhere—and set out to find it. (Location 651) does your Creative Mechanism also have access to stored information in a universal mind? Numerous experiences of creative workers would seem to indicate that it does. (Location 662) PRACTICE EXERCISE Get a New Mental Picture of Yourself (Location 676) Science has now confirmed what philosophers, mystics, and other intuitive people have long declared: Every human being has been literally “engineered for success” by his Creator. Every human being has access to a power greater than himself. This means you. (Location 684) Look for examples in your experiences, and the experiences of your friends, that illustrate the Creative Mechanism in action. (Location 688) Many people make the mistake of interfering with their Success Mechanism by demanding a how before a goal is clearly established. After you’ve formed a mental image of the goal you seek to create, the how will come to you—not before. Remain calm and relaxed and the answers will arrive. Any attempt to force the ideas to come will not work. As Brian Tracy wrote, “In all mental workings, effort defeats itself.” (Location 701) 5. You must learn to trust your Creative Mechanism to do its work and not “jam it” by becoming too concerned or too anxious as to whether it will work or not, or by attempting to force it by too much conscious effort. You must “let it” work, rather than “make it” work. This trust is necessary because your Creative Mechanism operates below the level of consciousness, and you cannot “know” what is going on beneath the surface. Moreover, its nature is to operate spontaneously according to present need. Therefore, you have no guarantees in advance. It comes into operation as you act and as you place a demand on it by your actions. You must not wait to act until you have proof—you must act as if it is there, and it will come through. “Do the thing and you will have the power,” said Emerson. (Location 711) I saw that he did not need surgery . . . only an understanding of the fact that his imagination had wrought such havoc with his self-image that he had lost sight of the truth. He was not really ugly. People did not consider him odd and laugh at him because of his appearance. His imagination alone was responsible for his misery. (Location 734) Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience. In either case, it reacts automatically to information that you give to it from your forebrain. Your nervous system reacts appropriately to what you think or imagine to be true. (Location 754) We found that hypnotic subjects are able to do surprising things only when convinced that the hypnotist’s words are true statements. . . . When the hypnotist has guided the subject to the point where he is convinced that the hypnotist’s words are true statements, the subject then behaves differently because he thinks and believes differently. (Location 759) You act, and feel, not according to what things are really like, but according to the image your mind holds of what they are like. You have certain mental images of yourself, your world, and the people around you, and you behave as though these images were the truth, the reality, rather than the things they represent. (Location 782) Webb and Morgan in their book Making the Most of Your Life tell us that “the notes NapolĂ©on made from his readings during these years of study filled, when printed, four hundred pages. He imagined himself as a commander, and drew maps of the island of Corsica showing where he would place various defenses, making all his calculations with mathematical precision.” (Location 875) Set aside a period of 30 minutes each day when you can be alone and undisturbed. Relax and make yourself as comfortable as possible. Now close your eyes and exercise your imagination. Many people find they get better results if they imagine themselves sitting before a large motion picture screen—and imagine that they are seeing a motion picture of themselves. The important thing is to make these pictures as vivid and as detailed as possible. You want your mental pictures to approximate actual experience as much as possible. The way to do this is to pay attention to small details, sights, sounds, objects, in your imagined environment. (Location 949) When you begin, it’s good to scan your body for tension and begin to consciously relax your head, torso, waist, legs, and so on. (Location 979) back into your past and find a “successful” memory, an occasion when you did something well. Again, this could be as simple as tying your shoes for the first time or writing your name in school. When it happened is irrelevant. How “big” the success was doesn’t matter either. All that matters is that the memory triggers a positive, happy, feel-good experience in you right now. Replay and relive the positive memory, then go into the future and picture how you want to be with the same feeling you felt in the past. Add emotion to what you’re seeing in your mind’s eye. If you find your mind wandering, don’t get upset or be hard on yourself. Relax and picture again. Each time your mind wanders, bring yourself back. No worries. As for the 30-minute time? You can begin experiencing positive results in five or ten minutes per day. Visualizations that last no longer than 10 to 15 minutes can result in extraordinary changes. The biggest key is to practice every day. Once you’ve established this habit and you’re seeing and feeling the results, it’s easy to find more time. (Location 983) I know that I cannot lift as much weight as Paul Anderson, throw a 16-pound shot as far as Parry O’Brien, or dance as well as Arthur Murray. I know this, but it does not induce feelings of inferiority within me and blight my life—simply because I do not compare myself unfavorably with them and feel that I am no good merely because I cannot do certain things as skillfully or as well as they. I also know that in certain areas, every person I meet, from the newsboy on the corner, to the president of the bank, is superior to me in certain respects. But neither can any of these people repair a scarred face, or do any number of other things as well as I. And I am sure they do not feel inferior because of it. (Location 1111) Feelings of inferiority originate not so much from facts or experiences, but our conclusions regarding facts, and our evaluation of experiences. (Location 1116) You are not “inferior.” You are not “superior.” You are simply “You.” (Location 1135) self-realization is gained by “a simple belief in one’s own uniqueness as a human being, a sense of deep and wide awareness of all people and all things, and a feeling of constructive influencing of others through one’s own personality.” (Location 1155) PRACTICE EXERCISE How to Use Mental Pictures to Relax (To be practiced for at least 30 minutes daily.) (Location 1183) In short, you are going to use “goal pictures,” held in imagination, and let your automatic mechanism realize those goals for you. (Location 1191) MENTAL PICTURE 1 In your mind’s eye see yourself lying stretched out on the bed. Form a picture of your legs as they would look if made of concrete. See yourself lying there with two very heavy concrete legs. See these very heavy concrete legs sinking far down into the mattress from their sheer weight. Now picture your arms and hands as made of concrete. They also are very heavy and are sinking down into the bed and exerting tremendous pressure against the bed. In your mind’s eye see a friend come into the room and attempt to lift your heavy concrete legs. He takes hold of your feet and attempts to lift them. But they are too heavy for him. He cannot do it. Repeat with arms, neck, etc. (Location 1193) MENTAL PICTURE 3 Your body consists of a series of inflated rubber balloons. Two valves open in your feet, and the air begins to escape from your legs. Your legs begin to collapse and continue until they consist only of deflated rubber tubes, lying flat against the bed. Next a valve is opened in your chest, and as the air begins to escape your entire trunk begins to collapse limply against the bed. Continue with arms, head, and neck. (Location 1204) MENTAL PICTURE 4 Many people will find this the most relaxing of all. Just go back in memory to some relaxing and pleasant scene from your past. There is always some time in everyone’s life when he felt relaxed, at ease, and at peace with the world. Pick out your own relaxing picture from your past and call up detailed memory images. Yours may be a peaceful scene at a mountain lake where you went fishing. If so, pay particular attention to the little incidental things in the environment. Remember the quiet ripples on the water. What sounds were present? Did you hear the quiet rustling of the leaves? Maybe you remember sitting perfectly relaxed, and somewhat drowsy, before an open fireplace long ago. Did the logs crackle and spark? What other sights and sounds were present? Maybe you choose to remember relaxing in the sun on a beach. How did the sand feel against your body? Could you feel the warm, relaxing sun, touching your body, almost as a physical thing? Was there a breeze blowing? Were there gulls on the beach? The more of these incidental details you can remember and picture to yourself, the more successful you will be. (Location 1209) Daily practice will bring these mental pictures, or memories, clearer and clearer. The effect of learning will also be cumulative. Practice will strengthen the tie-in between mental image and physical sensation. You will become more and more proficient in relaxation, and this in itself will be “remembered” in future practice sessions. (Location 1218) You can experience positive results quickly—in as little as ten minutes, especially when you let go and truly allow yourself to relax. Once you’re in the daily habit, 30 minutes will be easy, if you so desire. (Location 1227) Many people feel the best times to practice are upon rising and before going to bed, a time when your brain and nervous (Location 1230) Dr. John A. Schindler, author of How to Live 365 Days a Year and who introduced the concept of Emotionally Induced Illness, won nationwide fame for his outstanding success in helping unhappy, neurotic people regain the joy of living and return to productive, happy lives. (Location 1252) Our errors, mistakes, failures, and sometimes even our humiliations, were necessary steps in the learning process. However, they were meant to be means to an end—and not an end in themselves. When they have served their purpose, they should be forgotten. (Location 1271) The unhappiest of mortals is that man who insists on reliving the past, over and over in imagination—continually criticizing himself for past mistakes—continually condemning himself for past sins. (Location 1275) Dorothea Brande tells in her charming book Wake Up and Live how this one idea enabled her to become more productive and successful as a writer, and to draw on talents and abilities she never knew she had. (Location 1296) talents and abilities displayed by hypnotic subjects were due to a “purgation of memory” of past failures while in the hypnotic state. If this were possible under hypnosis, Miss Brande asked herself—if ordinary people carried around within themselves talents, abilities, powers that were held in and not used merely because of memories of past failures—why couldn’t a person in the wakeful state use these same powers by ignoring past failures and “acting as if it were impossible to fail”? (Location 1299) getting the subject to see that some negative concept of his was inconsistent with some other deeply held belief. (Location 1331) ideas and concepts that make up the total content of “personality” must seem to be consistent with each other. If the inconsistency of a given idea is consciously recognized, it must be rejected. (Location 1332) There are “standard” convictions which are strongly held by nearly everyone. These are (1) the feeling or belief that one is capable of doing his share, holding up his end of the log, exerting a certain amount of independence, and (2) the belief that there is “something” inside you which should not be allowed to suffer indignities. (Location 1341) If so, try to arouse some indignation, or even anger. (Location 1361) When you worry, you first of all picture some undesirable future outcome, or goal, very vividly in your imagination. You use no effort or willpower. But you keep dwelling on the “end result.” You keep thinking about it—dwelling on it—picturing it to yourself as a “possibility.” You play with the idea that it “might happen.” This constant repetition, and thinking in terms of “possibilities,” makes the end result appear more and more “real” to you. After time, appropriate emotions are automatically generated—fear, anxiety, discouragement—all these are appropriate to the undesirable end result you are worrying about. (Location 1381) A person who fears public speaking usually has no fear of talking openly with trusted friends. The fact that you can speak openly with friends means you have the skill of public speaking. Now all you need to do is bring the same person who speaks easily with friends into the room where you will then speak openly before a large crowd of perceived friends. Picture yourself speaking openly with friends—then amplify the same imagery in your mind to encompass a larger group of friends—and public speaking will become easy for you. (Location 1404) The automatic mechanism is unconscious. We cannot see the wheels turning. We cannot know what is taking place beneath the surface. And because it works spontaneously in reacting to present and current needs, we can have no intimation or certified guarantee in advance that it will come up with the answer. We are forced into a position of trust. (Location 1428) In short, conscious, rational thought selects the goal, gathers information, concludes, evaluates, estimates, and starts the wheels in motion. It is not, however, responsible for results. We must learn to do our work, act on the best assumptions available, and leave results to take care of themselves. KEY POINTS TO REMEMBER (You fill in here.) (Location 1431) Our trouble is that we ignore the automatic Creative Mechanism and try to do everything and solve all our problems by conscious thought, or “forebrain thinking.” (Location 1444) But the forebrain cannot create. It cannot “do” the job to be done, any more than the operator of a computer can “do” the work. It is the job of the forebrain to pose problems and to identify them—but by its very nature it was never engineered to solve problems. (Location 1448) Because modern man does depend almost entirely on his forebrain, he becomes too careful, too anxious, and too fearful of “results,” (Location 1453) James cited example after example of persons who had tried unsuccessfully for years to rid themselves of anxieties, worries, inferiorities, guilt feelings, by making conscious efforts, only to find that success finally came when they gave up the struggle consciously, and stopped trying to solve their problems by conscious thought. (Location 1466) “the way to success, as vouched for by innumerable authentic personal narrations, is by . . . surrender . . . passivity, not activity—relaxation, not intentness, should be now the rule. Give up the feeling of responsibility, let go your hold, resign the care of your destiny to higher powers, be genuinely indifferent as to what becomes of it all. . . . (Location 1468) about the problem. All the evidence points to the conclusion that in order to receive an “inspiration” or a “hunch,” the person must first of all be intensely interested in solving a particular problem, or securing a particular answer. (Location 1477) “I have found, for example, that, if I have to write upon some rather difficult topic, the best plan is to think about it with very great intensity—the greatest intensity of which I am capable—for a few hours or days, and at the end of that time give orders, so to speak, that the work is to proceed underground. After some months I return consciously to the topic and find that the work has been done. (Location 1493) The most skilled pianist in the world could never play a simple composition if he tried to consciously think out just which finger should strike which key—while he was playing. (Location 1515) If your goal is to climb Mount Everest, and you are only thinking about being at the top, you “jam” your success mechanism in the present. You’ve got to take care of each step along the way. Focus on the journey the majority of the time—and occasionally (once or twice per day when you visualize) tune into the goal. Then get back into journey mode and simply turn your goal over to your subconscious or Success Mechanism, to guide you there without effort. (Location 1528) that I myself had been doing exactly the same thing in my business and in my personal life. I often made decisions or embarked upon courses of action without adequate preparation, without considering all the risks involved and the best possible alternative. But after I had set the wheels in motion, so to speak, I continually worried over how it would come out, whether I had done the right thing. I made a decision right then that in the future I would do all my worrying, all my forebrain thinking, before a decision was made, and that after making a decision, and setting the wheels in motion, I would “dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome.” Believe it or not, it works. I not only feel better, sleep better, and work better, but my business is running much smoother. (Location 1551) Then I decided that if the decision was to go along physically, I might as well go along mentally—and dismiss all thoughts of resistance. Last night I not only went to what I would formerly have called a stupid social gathering, but I was surprised to find myself thoroughly enjoying it. (Location 1566) Form the Habit of Consciously Responding to the Present Moment Consciously practice the habit of “taking no anxious thought for tomorrow,” by giving all your attention to the present moment. Your Creative Mechanism cannot function or work tomorrow. It can only function in the present—today. Make long-range plans for tomorrow. But don’t try to live in tomorrow, or in the past. (Location 1568) Your Creative Mechanism can respond appropriately and successfully to present environment—only if you have your full attention on present environment—and give it information concerning what is happening now. (Location 1572) 3. Try to Do Only One Thing at a Time (Location 1607) Looking at the hourglass on his desk, he had an inspiration. Just as only one grain of sand could pass through the hourglass, so could we only do one thing, at a time. (Location 1620) The ‘hopper’ to your Success Mechanism can handle only one job at a time. Just as a computer cannot give the right answer if three different problems are mixed up and fed in at the same time, neither can your own Success Mechanism. (Location 1631) You can have many goals, but concentrating on just one at a time will help you accomplish far more than attempting to focus on many at once. Get the fire of desire started within being single-minded about one goal and the flame will naturally spread to the others without you forcing it. (Location 1633) Thomas A. Edison has said that each evening her husband would go over in his mind those things that he hoped to accomplish the next day. Sometimes, he would make a list of the jobs he wanted to do, and problems that he hoped to solve. (Location 1642) Relax While You Work (Location 1663) you can induce something of “that relaxed feeling,” and the relaxed attitude, while going about your daily activities, if you will form the habit of mentally remembering the nice relaxed feeling that you induced. Stop occasionally during the day, it need only take a moment, and remember in detail the sensations of relaxation. (Location 1667) Sometimes forming a mental picture of yourself lying in bed, or sitting relaxed and limp in an easy chair, helps to recall the relaxed sensations. Mentally repeating to yourself several times, “I feel more and more relaxed,” also helps. Practice this remembering faithfully several times each day. You will be surprised at how much it reduces fatigue, and how much better you are able to handle situations. (Location 1670) SEVEN You Can Acquire the Habit of Happiness (Location 1679) Happiness is native to the human mind and its physical machine. We think better, perform better, feel better, and are healthier when we are happy. (Location 1684) eyesight improves immediately when the individual is thinking pleasant thoughts, or visualizing pleasant scenes. (Location 1688) One of the most pleasant thoughts to any human being is the thought that he is needed, that he is important enough and competent enough to help and add to the happiness of some other human being. (Location 1711) Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned and practiced in the present it is never experienced. (Location 1725) “It is produced, not by objects, but by ideas, thoughts, and attitudes which can be developed and constructed by the individual’s own activities, irrespective of the environment.” (Location 1735) “The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions.” (Location 1752) When we fail to recall our good moments, our best times, it’s as if we’ve been disconnected from the source of all things good. But as soon as we remember and feel what it was like to be at our best, the switch is turned back on. We are reconnected—and we start experiencing bliss internally and externally. Our thoughts are not only positive, so are our feelings—and oddly enough, most of the circumstances we encounter that would have been negative in the past are now pleasant, harmonious, and vibrant. (Location 1861) Our habits are literally garments worn by our personalities. They are not accidental, or happenstance. We have them because they fit us. (Location 1867) if you cut your face and it “heals naturally,” scar tissue will form, because there is a certain amount of tension in the wound and just underneath the wound that pulls the surface of the skin back, creates a “gap” so to speak, which is filled in by scar tissue. (Location 2540) Today, we are suffering tensions of self-doubt, insecurity, anxiety. We “take” the remark in the wrong way, become offended and hurt, and an emotional scar begins to form. (Location 2549) Scientific experiments have shown that it is absolutely impossible to feel fear, anger, anxiety, or negative emotions of any kind while the muscles of the body are kept perfectly relaxed. (Location 2555) Therapeutic forgiveness cuts out, eradicates, cancels, makes the wrong as if it had never been. Therapeutic forgiveness is like surgery. (Location 2604) True forgiveness comes only when we are able to see, and emotionally accept, that there is and was nothing for us to forgive. We should not have condemned or hated the other person in the first place. (Location 2618) You cannot forgive a person unless you have first condemned him. (Location 2627) Emotions are used correctly and appropriately when they help us to respond or react appropriately to some reality in the present environment. Since we cannot live in the past, we cannot appropriately react emotionally to the past. The past can be simply written off, closed, forgotten, insofar as our emotional reactions are concerned. We do not need to take an “emotional position” one way or the other regarding detours that might have taken us off course in the past. The important thing is our present direction and our present goal. (Location 2640) So remember you make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you—anything. (Location 2668) why not give yourself a face-lift? Your do-it-yourself kit consists of relaxation of negative tensions to prevent scars, therapeutic forgiveness to remove old scars, providing yourself with a tough (but not a hard) epidermis instead of a shell, creative living, a willingness to be a little vulnerable, and a nostalgia for the future instead of the past. (Location 2685) ELEVEN How to Unlock Your Real Personality (Location 2692) When we say that a person “has a good personality,” what we really mean is that he has freed and released the creative potential within him and is able to express his real self. (Location 2705) “Poor personality” and “inhibited personality” are one and the same. (Location 2706) The purpose of negative feedback, however, is to modify response, and change the course of forward action, not to stop it altogether. (Location 2717) When it comes to our attention that our manner of expression is off course, missing the mark, or “wrong”—we conclude that self-expression itself is wrong, or that success for us (reaching our particular tree) is wrong. (Location 2736) Voice teachers advise that we record our own voices and listen back to them as a method of improving tone, enunciation, etc. By doing this we become aware of errors in speech that we had not noticed before. (Location 2746) In any sort of social relationship we constantly receive negative feedback data from other people. (Location 2802) Persons with “good personalities,” who are popular and magnetic in social situations, can sense this communication from other people and they automatically and spontaneously react and respond to it in a creative way. (Location 2808) Whenever you constantly and consciously monitor your every act, word, or mannerism, again you become inhibited and self-conscious. You become too careful to make a good impression, and in so doing choke off, restrain, inhibit your creative self and end up making a rather poor impression. The way to make a good impression on other people is: Never consciously “try” to make a good impression on them. Never act, or fail to act, purely for consciously contrived effect. Never “wonder” consciously what the other person is thinking of you, how he is judging you. (Location 2816) Mangan also found that he could overcome his stage fright and self-consciousness when calling on big shots, or in any other social situation, by saying to himself, “I’m going to eat with Ma and Pa,” conjuring up in his imagination how he had felt and how he had acted—and then acting that way. (Location 2831) “This attitude of being immune to strangers or strange situations, this total disregard for all the unknown or unexpected has a name. It is called poise. Poise is the deliberate shunting aside of all fears arising from new and uncontrollable circumstances.” (Location 2835) concentrated on developing more self-consciousness: feeling, acting, behaving, thinking as he did when he was alone, (Location 2850) Stage fright is the fear that we will be punished for speaking up, expressing our own opinion, presuming to “be somebody,” or “showing off”—things that most of us learned were “wrong” and punishable as children. Stage fright illustrates how universal is the suppression and inhibition of self-expression. (Location 2892) If you are among the millions who suffer unhappiness and failure because of inhibition—you need to deliberately practice disinhibition. You need to practice being less careful, less concerned, less conscientious. (Location 2895) Don’t plan (take no thought for tomorrow). Don’t think before you act. Act—and correct your actions as you go along. This advice may seem radical, yet it is actually the way all servo-mechanisms must work. (Location 2939) Stop all this tearing yourself apart. Useful and beneficial feedback works subconsciously, spontaneously, and automatically. Conscious self-criticism, self-analysis, and introspection are good and useful if undertaken perhaps once a year. But as a continual, moment-by-moment, day-by-day sort of second-guessing yourself—or playing Monday-morning quarterback to your past actions—it is defeating. (Location 2946) TWELVE Do-It-Yourself Tranquilizers That Bring Peace of Mind (Location 2965) stimulus in the environment. The point I wish to make is this: You do not have to answer the telephone. You do not have to obey. You can, if you choose, totally ignore the telephone bell. You can, if you choose, continue sitting quietly and relaxed—maintaining your own original state of organization, by refusing to respond to the signal. Get this mental picture clearly in your mind for it can be quite helpful in overcoming the power of external stimuli to (Location 2980) You do not have to answer the telephone. You do not have to obey. You can, if you choose, totally ignore the telephone bell. You can, if you choose, continue sitting quietly and relaxed—maintaining your own original state of organization, by refusing to respond to the signal. Get this mental picture clearly in your mind for it can be quite helpful in overcoming the power of external stimuli to disturb you. See yourself sitting quietly, letting the phone ring, ignoring its signal, unmoved by its command. Although you are aware of it, you no longer mind or obey it. Also, get clearly in your mind the fact that the outside signal in itself has no power over you; no power to move you. In the past you have obeyed it, responded to it, purely out of habit. You can, if you wish, form a new habit of not responding. (Location 2981) Today, more than ever, it’s vital to address the bad habit of over-response—to relax from doing—when we are assaulted by the stimuli of email, texts, and all manner of electronic communications. (Location 2989) We can, however, extinguish the conditioned response if we make a practice of relaxing instead of responding. We can, if we wish, just as in the case of the telephone, learn to ignore the “bell,” and continue to sit quietly and “let it ring.” (Location 3008) The positive effects of counting to ten when you are tempted to be angry—the ten-second delay—can also be greatly enhanced by inhaling and exhaling deeply while paying attention to the breath. Three inhales and exhales is easy enough to “take a step back” and create the space to approach the situation differently. (Location 3026) Each person needs a quiet room inside his own mind—a quiet center within him, like the deep of the ocean that is never disturbed, no matter how rough the waves may become on the surface. This quiet room within, which is built in imagination, works as a mental and emotional decompression chamber. It depressurizes you from tensions, worry, pressures, stresses, and strains, refreshes you, and enables you to return to your workaday world better prepared to cope with it. (Location 3052) And one of the best ways that I have found for entering this quiet center is to build for yourself, in imagination, a little mental room. Furnish this room with whatever is most restful and refreshing to you: perhaps beautiful landscapes, if you like paintings; a volume of your favorite verse, if you like poetry. The colors of the walls are your own favorite “pleasant” colors, but should be chosen from the restful hues of blue, light green, yellow, gold. The room is plainly and simply furnished; there are no distracting elements. It is very neat and everything is in order. Simplicity, quietness, beauty are the keynotes. (Location 3059) Whenever you have a few spare moments during the day between appointments or while riding the bus, retire into your quiet room. Whenever you begin to feel tension mounting, or to feel hurried or harried, retire into your quiet room for a few moments. Just a very few minutes taken from a very busy day in this manner will more than pay for themselves. It is not time wasted, but time invested. Say to yourself, “I am going to rest a bit in my quiet room.” Then, in imagination, see yourself climbing the stairs to your room. Say to yourself, “I am now climbing the stairs—now I am opening the door—now I am inside.” In imagination notice all the quiet, restful details. See yourself sitting down in your favorite chair, utterly relaxed and at peace with the world. Your room is secure. Nothing can touch you here. There is nothing to worry about. You left your worries at the foot of the stairs. There are no decisions to be made here—no hurry, no bother. (Location 3067) Our nervous system needs a certain amount of escapism. It needs some freedom and protection from the continual bombardment of external stimuli. (Location 3076) Insomnia and Rudeness Are Often Emotional Carry-Overs (Location 3101) It is impossible, as we have said, to experience or feel fear, anger, or anxiety while completely relaxed, quiet, and composed. Retiring into your “quiet room” thus becomes an ideal clearance mechanism for emotions and moods. (Location 3118) You also have a built-in spiritual thermostat that enables you to maintain an emotional climate and atmosphere in spite of the emotional weather around you. Many people do not use this spiritual thermostat because they do not know it is there; they do not know such a thing is possible, and they do not understand that they do not have to take on the outward climate. Yet your spiritual thermostat is just as necessary for emotional health and well-being as your physical thermostat is for physical health. (Location 3178) quality that one has and another hasn’t. It is largely a matter of how they learned to react to crisis situations. A “crisis” is a situation that can either make you or break you. If you react properly to the situation, a “crisis” can give you strength, power, wisdom you do not ordinarily possess. If you react improperly, a crisis can rob you of the skill, control, and ability that you ordinarily have to call upon. (Location 3217) In order to perform well in a crisis: (1) We need to learn certain skills under conditions where we will not be over-motivated; we need to practice without pressure. (2) We need to learn to react to crises with an aggressive, rather than a defensive, attitude; to respond to the challenge in the situation, rather than to the menace; to keep our positive goal in mind. (3) We need to learn to evaluate so-called crisis situations in their true perspective; to not make mountains out of molehills, or react as if every small challenge is a matter of life or death. (Location 3222) Dr. Tolman found that if rats were permitted to learn and practice under non-crisis conditions, they later performed well in a crisis. (Location 3237) Sir Harry Lauder, the famous Scottish actor and comedian, once admitted that he had practiced a certain routine 10,000 times in private before ever giving the performance publicly. Lauder was, in effect, “shadowboxing” with an imaginary audience. (Location 3266) In shadowboxing you practice self-expression with no inhibiting factors present. You learn the correct moves. You form a “mental map” that is retained in memory. You create a broad, general, flexible map. Then, when you face a crisis where an actual menace or inhibiting factor is present, you have learned to act calmly and correctly. There is a “carry-over” in your muscles, nerves, and brain from practice to the actual situation. Moreover, because your learning has been relaxed and pressure-free, you will be able to rise to the occasion, extemporize, improvise, act spontaneously. At the same time, your shadowboxing is building a mental image of yourself—acting correctly and successfully. The memory of this successful self-image also enables you to perform better. (Location 3297) If we can maintain an aggressive attitude, react aggressively instead of negatively to threats and crises, the very situation itself can act as a stimulus to release untapped powers. (Location 3353) Any normal person who is intelligent enough to understand the situation becomes “excited” or “nervous” just before a crisis situation. Until you direct it toward a goal, this excitement is neither fear, anxiety, courage, confidence, nor anything else other than a stepped-up, reinforced supply of emotional steam in your boiler. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of additional strength to be used in any way you choose. (Location 3388) WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE? Close scrutiny will show that most of these everyday so-called crisis situations are not life-or-death matters at all, but opportunities to either advance, or stay where you are. (Location 3442) FOURTEEN How to Get That Winning Feeling (Location 3460) to supply a goal capable of activating your Creative Mechanism, you must think of the end result in terms of a present possibility. The possibility of the goal must be seen so clearly that it becomes “real” to your brain and nervous system. So real, in fact, that the same feelings are evoked as would be present if the goal were already achieved. (Location 3467) If there is one simple secret to the operation of your unconscious Creative Mechanism, it is this: call up, capture, evoke the feeling of success. When you feel successful and self-confident, you will act successfully. When the feeling is strong, you can literally do no wrong. (Location 3484) Too much effort to consciously bring about spontaneity is likely to destroy spontaneous action. It is much easier and more effective to simply define your goal or end result. Picture it to yourself clearly and vividly. Then simply capture the feeling you would experience if the desirable goal were already an accomplished fact. Then you are acting spontaneously and creatively. Then you are using the powers of your subconscious mind. Then your internal machinery is geared for success: to guide you in making the correct muscular motions and adjustments; to supply you with creative ideas, and to do whatever else is necessary in order to make the goal an accomplished fact. (Location 3489) Les Giblin is remembered as an authority on human relations. His book How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People (Location 3540) Many failures in elementary schools, he said, were due to the fact that students were not given, at the very beginning, a sufficient amount of work at which they could succeed, and thus never had an opportunity to develop the “Atmosphere of Success,” (Location 3575) Pavlov, on his deathbed, was asked to give one last bit of advice to his students on how to succeed. His answer was “Passion and gradualness.” (Location 3590) Even in those areas where we have already developed a high degree of skill, it sometimes helps to “drop back,” lower our sights a bit, and practice with a feeling of ease. (Location 3591) All that is needed is some experience where you succeeded in doing what you wanted to, in achieving what you set out to achieve, something that brought you some feeling of satisfaction. Go back in memory and relive those successful experiences. In your imagination revive the entire picture in as much detail as you can. In your mind’s eye “see” not only the main event, but all the little incidental things that accompanied your success. What sounds were there? What about your environment? What else was happening around you at the time? What objects were present? What time of year was it? Were you cold or hot? And so forth. The more detailed you can make it, the better. (Location 3604) because self-confidence is built upon memories of past successes. Now, after arousing this “general feeling of success,” give your thoughts to the important sale, conference, speech, business deal, golf tournament, or whatever that you wish to succeed in now. Use your Creative Imagination to picture to yourself just how you would act and just how you would feel if you had already succeeded. (Location 3611) As the pictures become more and more “real” to you, appropriate feelings begin to manifest themselves, just as if the imagined outcome had already happened. And this is the way that fear and anxiety develop. (Location 3624) The only cure for worry, he said, is to make a habit out of immediately substituting pleasant, wholesome, mental images for unpleasant “worry images.” Each time the subject finds himself worrying, he is to use this as a “signal” to immediately fill the mind with pleasant mental pictures out of the past or with anticipating pleasant future experiences. In time worry will defeat itself because it becomes a stimulus for practicing anti-worry. (Location 3689) Within you is a vast mental storehouse of past experiences and feelings—both failures and successes. Like inactive recordings on tape, these experiences and feelings are recorded on the neural engrams of your gray matter. There are recordings of stories with happy endings, and recordings of stories with unhappy endings. One is as true as the other. One is as real as the other. The choice is up to you as to which you select for playback. (Location 3712) engrams in the human brain tend to change slightly each time they are “played back.” They take on some of the tone and temper of our present mood, thinking, and attitudes toward them. (Location 3717) Like a broken phonograph, you can keep on playing the same old “broken record” of the past; reliving past injustices; pitying yourself for past mistakes—all of which reactivates failure patterns and failure feelings that color your present and your future. Or, if you choose, you can put on a new record, and reactivate success patterns and “that winning feeling,” which help you do better in the present and promise a more enjoyable future. (Location 3741) FIFTEEN More Years of Life and More Life in Your Years (Location 3753) I suggest that you read Dr. Selye’s book written for laymen, The Stress of Life. (Location 3810) For instance, if not managed properly, stress can age people prematurely. Children who grow up in highly stressed environments have cellular components that “behave” ten or more years older than their biologic age. Their telomeres are shorter than average. (Location 3852) Many studies have shown that wealthier people taken as a whole live longer and have longer biologic time clocks (telomeres) than people who live in poverty. Almost the exact same thing can be seen with education levels: Higher education is coincident with better overall long-term health and longevity. It is probably no coincidence that educated people tend to be more successful, too. (Location 3856) There was, however, one easily recognizable characteristic that all the rapid healers had in common. They were optimistic, cheerful positive thinkers who not only expected to get well in a hurry, but invariably had some compelling reason or need to get well quick. They had something to look forward to and not only something to live for, but something to get well for. “I’ve got to get back on the job.” (Location 3871) At least two ways suggest themselves as to how we may think ourselves into old age. In expecting to grow “old” at a given age we may unconsciously set up a negative goal image for our Creative Mechanism to accomplish. (Location 3894) Dr. John Schindler, in his book How to Live 365 Days a Year, pointed out what he believed to be six basic needs that every human being has: 1. The Need for Love 2. The Need for Security 3. The Need for Creative Expression 4. The Need for Recognition 5. The Need for New Experiences 6. The Need for Self-Esteem (Location 3911) To these six, I would add another basic need: the need for more life. The need to look forward to tomorrow and to the future with gladness and anticipation. (Location 3917) if we place ourselves in the sort of goal-situation where more life is needed, that we will receive more life? (Location 3926) believe that we establish this need by looking forward to the future with joy and anticipation, when we expect to enjoy tomorrow, and above all, when we have something important (to us) to do and somewhere to go. (Location 3929) The latest findings show that a man reaches his peak mentally somewhere around the age of 35 and maintains the same level until well past 70. (Location 3957) To close out this book, I’d like to cover a couple important “signs” that you may, over time, begin to notice in your life when you regularly implement the daily practice of Psycho-Cybernetics—in particular, using mental imagery in a relaxed state. (Location 4021) First, you will begin to notice that the calm, relaxed state you put yourself into before using mental imagery will grow stronger and you’ll carry this calmness with you throughout the day. If you ever miss a day, you’ll definitely notice a difference and will want to immediately get back on track. (Location 4023) With each consecutive day of practice, your ability to picture and feel positive will also increase. (Location 4025) The purpose of mental imagery is to give your Creative Mechanism a goal to move toward without inhibition or tension. You feed this goal to your brain and nervous system with imagery and emotion. If you attach a definite date to the goal, you may actually clog the mechanism and cause a jam. (Location 4030) You’ll know if you’ve done such a thing if you begin to feel tense or nervous about whether or not you can achieve the goal by the date you’ve set for yourself. (Location 4032) You may be surprised that you feel better and achieve your goal sooner than you’d expected. Why? Because you never had to fight a belief about when you were going to achieve your goal. You only had to convince yourself that you could and would achieve the goal. (Location 4038) Every goal you have begins as a picture in your mind. And anything you don’t like about yourself or your life can be changed by changing your mental pictures. Never forget: Even forgiveness is a mental picture.” (Location 4137)