--- ## Highlights Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm—to forget to plant in the spring, play all summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest? The farm is a natural system. The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut. (Location 217) Eventually, if there isn’t deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short-term success. (Location 224) As Emerson once put it, “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say.” (Location 230) In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. We all know it. (Location 234) To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little good in the long run if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and behaviors flow. (Location 330) As clearly and objectively as we think we see things, we begin to realize that others see them differently from their own apparently equally clear and objective point of view. (Location 333) We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it. (Location 336) The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view. (Location 343) It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms. (Location 401) (Location 473) principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application. (Location 476) (Location 508) But to take the child alone, quietly, when the relationship is good and to discuss the teaching or the value seems to have much greater impact. (Location 593) The way we see the problem is the problem. (Location 612) Albert Einstein observed, “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” (Location 653) The 7 HabitsAn Overview (Location 702) “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny,” the maxim goes. (Location 709) “Lift off” takes a tremendous effort, but once we break out of the gravity pull, our freedom takes on a whole new dimension. (Location 724) (Location 726) Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three. (Location 734) (Location 824) They become the basis of a person’s character, creating an empowering center of correct maps from which an individual can effectively solve problems, maximize opportunities, and continually learn and integrate other principles (Location 831) Effectiveness lies in the balance—what I call the P/PC Balance. P stands for production of desired results, the golden eggs. PC stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the golden eggs. (Location 846) THREE KINDS OF ASSETS Basically, there are three kinds of assets: physical, financial, and human. Let’s look at each one in turn. (Location 849) You can buy a person’s hand, but you can’t buy his heart. His heart is where his enthusiasm, his loyalty is. You can buy his back, but you can’t buy his brain. That’s where his creativity is, his ingenuity, his resourcefulness. (Location 941) The P/PC Balance is the very essence of effectiveness. It’s validated in every arena of life. We can work with it or against it, but it’s there. It’s a lighthouse. It’s the definition and paradigm of effectiveness upon which the 7 Habits in this book are based. (Location 977) First, I would recommend that you not “see” this material as a book, in the sense that it is something to read once and put on a shelf. (Location 983) Second, I would suggest that you shift your paradigm of your own involvement in this material from the role of learner to that of teacher. (Location 991) There are actually three social maps—three theories of determinism widely accepted, independently or in combination, to explain the nature of man. (Location 1082) Between stimulus and response is our greatest power—the freedom to choose. (Location 1140) Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values—carefully thought about, selected and internalized values. (Location 1163) It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well. (Location 1194) there are three central values in life—the experiential, or that which happens to us; the creative, or that which we bring into existence; and the attitudinal, or our response in difficult circumstances such as terminal illness. (Location 1224) (Location 1260) A serious problem with reactive language is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. (Location 1334) Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, by determining which of these two circles is the focus of most of our time and energy, we can discover much about the degree of our proactivity. (Location 1369) As long as we are working in our Circle of Concern, we empower the things within it to control us. We aren’t taking the proactive initiative necessary to effect positive change. (Location 1378) (Location 1390) “Lord, give me the courage to change the things which can and ought to be changed, the serenity to accept the things which cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference.” (Location 1410) Changing our habits, changing our methods of influence and changing the way we see our no control problems are all within our Circle of Influence. (Location 1412) But we are responsible—“response-able”—to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are. (Location 1483) (Location 1499) past mistakes are also out there in the Circle of Concern. We can’t recall them, we can’t undo them, we can’t control the consequences that came as a result. (Location 1515) But not to acknowledge a mistake, not to correct it and learn from it, is a mistake of a different order. It usually puts a person on a self-deceiving, self-justifying path, often involving rationalization (rational lies) to self and to others. This second mistake, this cover-up, empowers the first, giving it disproportionate importance, and causes far deeper injury to self. (Location 1522) It is not what others do or even our own mistakes that hurt us the most; it is our response to those things. (Location 1525) Through our human endowments of self-awareness and conscience, we become conscious of areas of weakness, areas for improvement, areas of talent that could be developed, areas that need to be changed or eliminated from our lives. Then, as we recognize and use our imagination and independent will to act on that awareness—making promises, setting goals, and being true to them—we build the strength of character, the being, that makes possible every other positive thing in our lives. (Location 1535) The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the essence of developing the basic habits of effectiveness. (Location 1543) (Location 1574) To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you’re going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction. (Location 1618) It is possible to be busy—very busy—without being very effective. (Location 1622) These scripts come from people, not principles. And they rise out of our deep vulnerabilities, our deep dependency on others and our needs for acceptance and love, for belonging, for a sense of importance and worth, for a feeling that we matter. (Location 1671) I’m convinced that too often parents are also trapped in the management paradigm, thinking of control, efficiency, and rules instead of direction, purpose, and family feeling. (Location 1722) And leadership is even more lacking in our personal lives. We’re into managing with efficiency, setting and achieving goals before we have even clarified our values. (Location 1724) (Location 1726) (Location 1784) “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” (Location 2320) Habit 1 says, “You are the programmer.”Habit 2, then, says, “Write the program.” (Location 2323) It is, rather, the ongoing process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with those most important things. (Location 2408) (Location 2414) In effective personal leadership, visualization and affirmation techniques emerge naturally out of a foundation of well thought through purposes and principles that become the center of a person’s life. They are extremely powerful in rescripting and reprogramming, in writing deeply committed to purposes and principles into one’s heart and mind. (Location 2456) Just identifying the various areas of your life and the two or three important results you feel you should accomplish in each area to move ahead gives you an overall perspective of your life and a sense of direction. (Location 2503) An organizational mission statement—one that truly reflects the deep shared vision and values of everyone within that organization—creates a great unity and tremendous commitment. (Location 2652) They don’t need someone else directing, controlling, criticizing, or taking cheap shots. They have bought into the changeless core of what the organization is about. (Location 2654) APPLICATION SUGGESTIONS (Location 2657) Question 1: What one thing could you do (something you aren’t doing now) that, if you did it on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal life? Question 2: What one thing in your business or professional life would bring similar results? (Location 2695) Leadership is primarily a high-powered, right brain activity. It’s more of an art; it’s based on a philosophy. You have to ask the ultimate questions of life when you’re dealing with personal leadership issues. (Location 2719) Manage from the left; lead from the right. (Location 2726) (Location 2741) (Location 2781) Quadrant II is the heart of effective personal management. It deals with things that are not urgent, but are important. (Location 2819) effective people are not problem-minded; they’re opportunity-minded. (Location 2823) And because they aren’t urgent, you don’t do them. (Location 2829) The basic problem is that their priorities have not become deeply planted in their hearts and minds. (Location 2908) (Location 2966) Quadrant II organizing involves four key activities. (Location 2973) (Location 3158) (Location 3190) Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the very best in people. But it takes time and patience, and it doesn’t preclude the necessity to train and develop people so that their competency can rise to the level of that trust. (Location 3335) Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others. (Location 3525) The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques (the Personality Ethic) rather than from our own inner core (the Character Ethic), others will sense that duplicity. (Location 3534) we become independent—proactive, centered in correct principles, value driven and able to organize and execute around the priorities in our life with integrity—we then can choose to become interdependent—capable of building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with other people. (Location 3539) THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT (Location 3562) That’s why it’s so important whenever you come into a new situation to get all the expectations out on the table. (Location 3738) (Location 3854) Most of life is an interdependent, not an independent, reality. Most results you want depend on cooperation between you and others. And the Win/Lose mentality is dysfunctional to that cooperation. (Location 4046) (Location 4383) It is much more ennobling to the human spirit to let people judge themselves than to judge them. (Location 4391) If you put good people in bad systems, you get bad results. (Location 4583) Win/Win is not a personality technique. It’s a total paradigm of human interaction. It comes from a character of integrity, maturity, and the Abundance Mentality. It grows out of high-trust relationships. It is embodied in agreements that effectively clarify and manage expectations as well as accomplishment. It thrives in supportive systems. And it is achieved through the process we are now prepared to more fully examine in Habits 5 and 6. (Location 4616) APPLICATION SUGGESTIONS: (Location 4620) We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first. (Location 4692) That’s the case with so many of us. We’re filled with our own rightness, our own autobiography. We want to be understood. (Location 4756) The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it’s that you fully, deeply, understand that person, (Location 4775) (Location 4886) If you really seek to understand, without hypocrisy and without guile, there will be times when you will be literally stunned with the pure knowledge and understanding that will flow to you from another human being. (Location 5093) (Location 5180) When you can present your own ideas clearly, specifically, visually, and most important, contextually—in the context of a deep understanding of other people’s paradigms and concerns—you significantly increase the credibility of your ideas. (Location 5219) Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” (Location 5325) When we’re left to our own experiences, we constantly suffer from a shortage of data. (Location 5664) (Location 5708) (Location 6220) It requires regular feasting on inspiring literature, thinking noble thoughts and, above all, living in harmony with its still small voice. (Location 6253)