---
## Notes
same as 48 laws of power - observations, not hard learned
used on wife lul
seduction is love and obsession
seduction is more on qualities than techniques
seducer type
## Highlights
### Qualities
the seductive process requires the following six qualities: ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/11cb4f40-7c6a-46d4-8ceb-32ab4509201d))
Quality Effort ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/4e6e8566-8bf8-462d-9e39-2651c88bf1dc))
Quality A focus on generating love, not lust ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/6825b4b9-42fb-45ba-bceb-77f6c25d6b3d))
Quality Constant practice ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/bf350146-6b24-468a-b293-09e841e34771))
Quality Rejection of self-absorption ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/4dc340ba-cbd5-4a6f-a9bd-7b0cf7905d7a))
Quality Flexibility of personality ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/10a1735a-b239-44ac-b38d-03d6e7308907))
Quality The abandonment of traditional morality. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/fd4464da-00a2-4f24-ad95-3f0448db8238))
### Types of Seducers
Part 1: The Players in the Game: Seducers and Targets ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/89efe853-65be-44ae-943b-27bec0409402))
Identify your natural seducer type
Work on fully developing it
Add complexity by incorporating one or two more types
Identify your anti-seducer tendencies
Work on eliminating those from your behavior ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/05814023-f7f6-45a7-9bf6-d1dd20db6446))
The Types of Seducers ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/61f0efba-4de6-47be-8004-d39274662c03))
Type 1—“The Siren”—represents the (heterosexual) male fantasy. She’s a hypersexual, stereotypically feminine woman. She invites repressed, bored, and rational men to let loose and fully give themselves to pleasure. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/f4320b7b-d2eb-4ed3-a854-3608726010f5))
Type 3—“The Dandy”—is a seducer who experiments with gender nonconformity. For instance, a man may incorporate elements of femininity into his appearance or behavior ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/76e20c44-9457-4d7f-a63b-a8552b9bc2fe))
- đź’ too much and you lose the potential for attraction
androgynous people are perceived as better adjusted and more likable. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/f6ea04bd-020e-404d-b9ab-66d366da4b9d))
Type 4—“The Natural”—is a person who has retained childlike qualities in adulthood. For example, they’re playful and spontaneous. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/19ac23b4-5328-4639-aa5b-835f94e020e4))
- đź’ manic pixie dream
Type 5—“The Charmer”—hooks their targets by appealing to their vanity and showering them with flattery. They boost the target’s self-esteem by paying them compliments designed to soothe their insecurities. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/1c44572e-5131-47f5-8e9f-e6e984508e2e))
- đź’ not sexual, long term
Type 6—“The Ideal Lover”—lures in their targets by figuring out what the target longs for most in life, then modifying their own personality to fulfill that desire. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/fc998872-576f-4a8f-844d-2fcf08832af0))
Type 8—“The Charismatic”—radiates a charisma that makes them seem extraordinary. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/8993741a-0744-4c49-b41b-4ae5322d9537))
targets devote themselves to this seducer because they believe that these people are “special” and hope their extraordinary nature will rub off. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/31952cc7-0f3d-4e88-9dae-f2caf159034c))
Type 9—“The Star”—intrigues their targets by being simultaneously “real” and “unreal.” This means that they have ordinary and “relatable” personality traits, while simultaneously being “special” in some way. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/3ef3c12b-12c3-4cdc-8e33-3af2ec906c78))
### Repellents
The Repellents ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/233411d4-962e-4dca-b39b-68e4f91058ef))
Insecurity and self-consciousness: Greene says the most repellent trait is insecurity. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/80e74e77-9933-4377-8c20-4e10a681df92))
Clingy behavior ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/406ce2d5-c939-49cd-8d4f-3ef1315bb527))
Stinginess: ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/efa7a63c-35ce-411a-87d0-4eb22d40af42))
- đź’ from money to time to possessions
Hyper-sensitivity: ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/ed8dfd22-aa92-4373-9509-c12249176a56))
Lack of hygiene: This was the strongest repellent, for men and women, and for both long-term and short-term relationships. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/cd71123c-adc3-4897-8eab-5b88ad803971))
Types of Targets ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/8d5297a9-e3fa-481d-a322-37e18c22cb27))
### Targets
it’s important that you understand the basics of what Greene calls “victim theory.” ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/738a4547-ba7e-471f-b754-e7fc3b82d782))
When you can pinpoint what a person is lacking in their life—and therefore what they long for—you can use that to your advantage by filling that void for them. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/42394b75-fa0f-43d2-abc6-79388f8dca84))
two major voids people tend to have in their lives are insecurity and discontent. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/4db0764f-698f-4de5-85b8-60b9328903b8))
the general characteristics of good targets ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/e1f4c8ed-7db7-48ec-9977-28ee6cb3399f))
They have some void in themselves that you can fill. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/ee6fc984-8a24-4b2d-a4e6-167fb88a8ac0))
They have a good imagination. This makes them susceptible to suggestion, because their mind will fill in the blanks with romanticized notions. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/52897330-ec58-42c1-9d88-48084c812395))
They are introverted. Introverts are better targets than extroverts, because they often desire to be “drawn out” of themselves. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/5775ff2d-a4d5-4b2b-a44d-f2add446c9ca))
They have ample free time. People who have space in their lives and minds that needs filling make excellent targets. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/a4ca8658-afb5-4b10-be19-9adad957da70))
Once you’re sure that your target fits these general qualities, look for their more specific traits, which we’ll discuss next. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/d28bf82d-6e1f-450b-a5b3-e1ec76b4f239))
### Seduction Process
Part 2: Playing the Game—The Seduction Process ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/ab14bd99-1f2a-4055-9b25-32917de34c8a))
To seduce someone means to make them fall in love with you, romantically or platonically. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/cd6a1d93-bbd6-4b6a-8b14-7b5ec1b36187))
always to bring the other person under your control. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/dc33e48b-5e38-4525-8b98-5345d4b3b223))
According to Greene, the aim is always to bring the other person under your control ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/35c21788-7cce-419d-8f26-55d3992378c7))
Greene’s seduction process happens in four phases, which we’ll describe as:
Luring your target
Sinking your hook
Reeling in your catch
Devouring your prey ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/cc19f0ff-33b7-476f-9ebb-544b1a6140bf))
Phase 1: Lure Your Target ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/5b78266f-1906-43f8-8bc4-7f606e1bd748))
Step 1: Create a sense of security. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/91dab14a-75d7-47b5-9812-0f5d67eb932e))
- đź’ friends to understand their weakness
Step 2: Create intrigue by appearing desirable ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/b08b9c10-1e7d-48d6-999c-de8084667642))
Step 3: Create a need that you can fulfill. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/a674f6a8-1968-40e8-b296-988d84901ceb))
Step 4: Play to your target’s vanity. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/6106e2ee-3f3a-4bdc-940e-46524ce1e469))
them believe they’re the person they think they are by mirroring their ideal self back to them. For example, if your target sees themselves as a devout spiritual practitioner, present yourself as that too, and let them believe you admire their faith and devotion. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/d7ae9e6a-6982-45bd-a82a-0327ea2c9d2c))
Step 5: Create a tempting “taboo.” ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/1d9a36a0-4397-49b1-81b0-ef756ec052d8))
when you don’t form authentic connections with people, your deeper human needs aren’t met. He suggests that you should always be “clear and intentional” about what you want as you go about dating. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/dc4f2a37-f29b-4530-8ba4-391d8c379435))
developing a trusting relationship is being honest and trustworthy. In How to Not Die Alone ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/2fd94871-9231-4b5a-9546-8c851ba79638))
Phase 3: Reel in Your Catch ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/835b4ea8-ee1a-4537-9502-ac8f6381e179))
Step 1: Play the hero. You need to prove your devotion to your target, so Greene suggests you find a way to “rescue” them. Be ready to spring into action to help them with anything they need, at all times. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/158c9ca5-8415-42f4-a60b-04e1ae5d3535))
Step 2: Add an element of danger. Make your target feel like there’s something a bit dangerous about you. Break some social rules or taboos. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/bfdd0aed-0e02-44cc-be53-243e9abde7ad))
Step 3: Take advantage of childhood trauma. Get your target to talk about their childhood and play the role of “therapist.” Listen intently and notice where they express something missing in their life, then fill that for them. For example, if they didn’t get enough encouragement as a child, become encouraging. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/22c1b523-40d0-4e43-b062-01c9b68c60a8))
Step 4: Combine spirituality and physicality. To make your target feel that your bond is deep and meaningful, incorporate an element of spirituality into your seduction. If you portray yourself as being spiritual in some way, Greene says they won’t suspect your manipulation and will trust that your intentions are pure. Expose them to sublime art, poetry, music, or theater, so that they associate you with that soulful feeling. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/de3d36dc-d04e-4a78-9c2f-ce6c82cfb9f6))
Step 5: Alternate between giving pleasure and pain. Always keep your target on an emotional roller coaster. According to Greene, people get addicted to that kind of excitement. So he says you should try to elicit feelings like jealousy, insecurity, and anger, so you can then relieve those feelings for them. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/e50e1aa4-e27b-4c3c-aeec-def204484a48))
- đź’ scientifically effective but this is just immoral xd
Phase 4: Devour Your Prey ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/f0141481-1c34-4d7c-ba70-c340d843e9a3))
Step 1: Back off and appear to lose interest. To get to a full physical seduction, Greene says you should wait until you are certain the target wants you and then withdraw your sexual attention for a bit. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/6de7dc7b-9d28-4d68-a2b1-70f656c482d3))
- đź’ i don't like this. you're not acting authentically.
This will force the target to make the move, allowing them to feel that they need to seduce you. They’ll be more excited and invested this way. ([View Highlight](https://www.shortform.com/app/highlights/bf602994-d438-4a17-89ba-aa1cc3df091c))