--- ## Highlights This book is designed to help you learn through a learning model upgrade I call Consciousness Engineering. ([Location 181](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=181)) There is actually a methodology that anyone can employ—a code you can learn—that will catapult your life into the realm of the extraordinary. ([Location 228](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=228)) PART I. Living in the Culturescape: How You Were Shaped by the World Around You PART II. The Awakening: The Power to Choose Your Version of the World PART III. Recoding Yourself: Transforming Your Inner World PART IV. Becoming Extraordinary: Changing the World ([Location 337](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=337)) Part I. Living in the Culturescape: How You Were Shaped by the World Around You ([Location 346](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=346)) looks at the world we live in with all its messy and conflicting ideas, beliefs, and patterns that we’ve invented in an attempt to keep humanity safe and under control. ([Location 347](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=347)) 1. TRANSCEND THE… ([Location 352](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=352)) These are the rules that tell you how to exist, how to plan your life, how to define success and happiness. Following them is a sure path to being ordinary and safe. But I’m going to urge you to instead jump on the thrilling,… ([Location 353](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=353)) 2. QUESTION THE… ([Location 356](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=356)) Here you’ll discover how to identify bulls\*\*t rules or Brules that should have expired generations ago but… ([Location 356](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=356)) Part II. The Awakening: The Power to Choose Your… ([Location 360](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=360)) that you can choose your… ([Location 361](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=361)) You’ll learn to consciously mold the beliefs, habits, and practices that shape your life while you discard old beliefs and systems that you no longer need. The method for doing this… ([Location 362](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=362)) 4. REWRITE YOUR MODELS OF… ([Location 369](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=369)) you’ll learn how to swap out disempowering models and replace them with newer,… ([Location 370](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=370)) 5. UPGRADE YOUR SYSTEMS FOR… ([Location 373](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=373)) You’ll learn how to observe the systems that run the world (and your life) and how to optimize them to be more powerful than ever before. You’ll also learn how to curate and install updated systems for… ([Location 376](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=376)) Part III. Recoding Yourself: Transforming… ([Location 381](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=381)) 6. BEND… ([Location 385](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=385)) This is a model of reality that suggests that there is an optimal state of living where everything seems to just click and luck… ([Location 385](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=385)) We’ll explore why happiness can be so elusive, and you’ll discover some of the best practices I’ve discovered for hacking… ([Location 390](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=390)) 8. CREATE A VISION FOR YOUR… ([Location 392](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=392)) I’ll show you how to set goals that truly, deeply lead to happiness, create meaning, and allow you to live a life… ([Location 393](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=393)) Part IV. Becoming Extraordinary:… ([Location 395](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=395)) In this section you learn how to go from creating your own rules for the world and mastery of your inner self to going forth and… ([Location 396](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=396)) 9. BE… ([Location 400](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=400)) Here you learn how to be so rock solid in your own self that judgments from others or fear of… ([Location 400](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=400)) 10. EMBRACE YOUR… ([Location 403](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=403)) Here you learn to go beyond just living in the world to actually changing it by discovering your quest. When you find it (and I’ll teach you a method for doing so), you take that… ([Location 403](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=403)) PRACTICE TRANSCENDENCE. In this section I’ll teach you a 20-minute daily practice… ([Location 409](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=409)) FOLLOWING THE CODE OF THE EXTRAORDINARY MIND. In this section I summarize in one place all the key tools and practices you can… ([Location 412](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=412)) That is—everything around you that you call life was made up by people no smarter than you. And you can change it. You can influence it…. Once you ([Location 449](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=449)) I wasn’t just quitting a job (and a career path)—I had also decided to quit following the socially approved rules for how life is supposed to work. ([Location 483](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=483)) One of the keys to being extraordinary is knowing what rules to follow and what rules to break. Outside the rules of physics and the rules of law, all other rules are open to questioning. ([Location 508](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=508)) So it seems that what language delineates, we can more easily discern. Our language shapes what we “see.” ([Location 548](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=548)) There’s the physical world of absolute truth. This world contains things we’re all likely to agree on: ([Location 564](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=564)) But there’s also the world of relative truth. It’s the mental world of ideas, constructs, concepts, models, myths, patterns, and rules that we’ve developed and passed from generation to generation—sometimes ([Location 566](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=566)) few people discover how pervasive and powerful the secondary world of our culturescape really is. We are not as independent and freethinking as we’d like to think we are. The world of absolute truth is fact-based. The world of the culturescape is opinion-based and agreement-based. Yet even though it exists solely in our heads, it is very, very real. ([Location 575](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=575)) For the convenience of being able to operate mindlessly in a complex world, we accept many of these culturescape constructs as true. The problem is—much of them are long past their expiration dates. ([Location 599](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=599)) Realizing that the world you’re living in exists inside your head puts you in the driver’s seat. You can use your own mind to deconstruct the beliefs, systems, and rules you’ve been living with. ([Location 607](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=607)) Safety is overrated; taking risks is much less likely to kill us than ever before, and that means that playing it safe is more likely just holding us back from the thrills of a life filled with meaning and discovery. ([Location 622](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=622)) Law 1: Transcend the culturescape. Extraordinary minds are good at seeing the culturescape and are able to selectively choose the rules and conditions to follow versus those to question or ignore. Therefore, they tend to take the path less traveled and innovate on the idea of what it means to truly live. WHY ([Location 647](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=647)) but he ended with one memorable line: “I have a high tolerance for pain.” ([Location 652](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=652)) The dips contain amazing learnings and wisdom that lead to sharper rises in the quality of life afterward. ([Location 657](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=657)) Instead we decided to do a “conscious uncoupling” after Valentine’s day in 2019. ([Location 684](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=684)) In the process, we challenged three unique rules of the culturescape. The rule that marriage has to last forever. The rule that divorce has to be messy and painful. The rule that you have to hate on your ex to help you recover (or as Katherine Woodward Thomas, the author of the book Conscious Uncoupling put it, “from soulmate to soulhate.”) Today ([Location 689](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=689)) You need to learn how to change the rules (Chapter 2), how to heal your mind (Chapter 3), how to remove dangerous beliefs (Chapter 4), how to learn new things incredibly fast (Chapter 5), how to be lucky (Chapter 6), how to find happiness (Chapter 7), how to know what to seek (Chapter 8). And then there’s weathering the inevitable storm (Chapter 9), finding your calling (Chapter 10), ([Location 698](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=698)) “I constantly get out of my comfort zone. Once you push yourself into something new, a whole new world of opportunities opens up. But you might get hurt. But amazingly when you heal—you are somewhere you’ve never been.” ([Location 702](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=702)) Here’s a partial list of all the things that could go “wrong” if you continue reading this book: ■ You might anger loved ones as you decide to question their expectations of you. ■ You might decide to leave your current relationship. ■ You might decide to raise your kids with different beliefs. ■ You might choose to question your religion or create your own customized religious system. ■ You might rethink your career. ■ You might become obsessed with being happy. ■ You might decide to forgive someone who hurt you in the past. ■ You might rip apart your current goal sheet and start anew. ■ You might start a daily spiritual practice. ■ You might fall out of love with someone and fall in love with yourself. ■ You might decide to leave your career and start a business. ■ You might decide to leave your business and start a career. ■ You might find a mission that excites you a lot and scares you a little. ([Location 715](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=715)) If you can’t win, change the rules. If you can’t change the rules, ignore them. I love this advice. ([Location 733](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=733)) Whilst we may like to believe that we consciously and rationally decide on how to respond to situations, social contagion evidence suggests that some of the time this is simply not the case. Rather than generating and “having” beliefs, emotions, and behaviours, social contagion research suggests that, in some very real sense, those beliefs, emotions, and behaviours “have” us…. When we are unsure of how to react to a stimulus or a situation, these theories suggest that we actively look to others for guidance and consciously imitate them. ([Location 758](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=758)) The evidence shows that we inherit and transmit behaviours, emotions, beliefs, and religions not through rational choice but contagion. ([Location 765](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=765)) Brule: A Definition A Brule is a bulls\*\*t rule that we adopt to simplify our understanding of the world. ([Location 775](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=775)) We use Brules to categorize things, processes, and even people. Brules are handed down by our tribe—often our family, culture, and educational system. For example, do you remember choosing your religion? ([Location 778](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=778)) Frankly, it was overrated. But still—boom! Just like that, a dogmatic model of reality I’d grown up blindly following was shattered. ([Location 806](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=806)) As you get on the path to the extraordinary, you must remember that within the culturescape there are no sacred cows that cannot be questioned. Our politics, our education and work models, our traditions and culture, and even our religions all contain Brules that are best discarded. ([Location 817](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=817)) A better alternative, in my opinion, is not to subscribe to one religion but to pick and choose beliefs from the entire pantheon of global religions and spiritual practices. ([Location 867](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=867)) Choose a religion if it gives you meaning and satisfaction, but know that you don’t have to accept all aspects of your religion to fit in. ([Location 875](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=875)) A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both. ([Location 888](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=888)) It does not make any sense to spend the majority of our waking hours at work, to earn a living, so we can continue living a life where we spend the majority of our waking hours at work. It’s a human hamster wheel. Therefore, always seek work that you love. Any other way of living misses the point of life itself. It won’t happen overnight, but it’s doable. As you progress through this book, I’ll share some mental models and practices to get you there faster. ([Location 894](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=894)) FIVE WAYS WE TAKE ON BRULES ([Location 898](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=898)) 1. Childhood Indoctrination We absorb most beliefs uncritically as children during our extremely long maturity period. ([Location 901](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=901)) 2. Authority Figures The men and women of our tribe whom we see as authority figures, usually people we depend on in some way, are powerful installers of rules. ([Location 928](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=928)) 3. The Need to Belong We have a tendency to take on Brules because we want to fit in. ([Location 940](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=940)) You can take on the beliefs of your tribe, but you don’t have to take on all of their beliefs, especially if their beliefs are unscientific, unhelpful, or untrue. ([Location 964](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=964)) 4. Social Proof When we take on rules because someone says, in effect, “everyone’s doing it,” we’re adopting beliefs through social proof. ([Location 965](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=965)) 5. Our Internal Insecurities ([Location 974](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=974)) Yet instead of looking at these logical ideas, we start to create “meaning” around the events. The meaning-making machine in our heads is constantly creating meaning about the events that we observe in our lives—particularly when they involve people we are seeking love or attention from. ([Location 980](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=980)) The circle is the culturescape. ([Location 996](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=996)) while there’s nothing wrong with idolizing athletic power, we also need to idolize brainpower—the engineers, the scientists, the people who are moving humanity forward through innovation. ([Location 1053](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1053)) He is constantly bending and breaking the rules in pursuit of a better way to live, hacking beliefs and cultural norms that most of us accept without questioning: ■ With his invention of the Segway, he redefined accepted models of transportation. ■ With North Dumpling Island, he playfully redefined the idea of the nation-state. ■ With FIRST, he redefined the idea of science education being as cool to teens as sports. ([Location 1056](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1056)) Law 2: Question the Brules. Extraordinary minds question the Brules when they feel those Brules are out of alignment with their dreams and desires. They recognize that much of the way the world works is due to people blindly following Brules that have long passed their expiration date. ([Location 1067](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1067)) The great gift of being human is our capacity to see the world anew, invent new solutions—and then use what we know to transform our lives and change our world. ([Location 1074](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1074)) So, what might your Brules look like? ([Location 1077](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1077)) Apply the five-question Brule Test for a reality check, and decide whether it’s a rule you want to live by or a Brule you want to bust. Question 1: Is it based on trust and hope in humanity? ([Location 1081](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1081)) Question 2: Does it violate the Golden Rule? ([Location 1093](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1093)) Question 3: Did I take it on from culture or religion? ([Location 1097](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1097)) You do not have to dress, eat, marry, or worship in a manner that you disagree with just because it’s part of the culture you’re born into. ([Location 1101](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1101)) Question 4: Was it instilled in me as a child? ([Location 1106](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1106)) try to understand them, dissect them, and question them. ([Location 1109](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1109)) Question 5: Does it serve my happiness? ([Location 1112](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1112)) Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ([Location 1120](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1120)) As you pursue this quest to question, know this: Certain people will tell you that you’re wrong, that you’re being unfaithful to your family, or to your tradition, or to your cultural norms. ([Location 1130](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1130)) LIFE BEYOND THE BRULES ([Location 1138](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1138)) Rather than follow the status quo, you will start to make your own rules. You will start to question. And the more you question, the more your awareness will expand. The more your awareness expands, the more you will grow. And the more you grow, the more extraordinary your life will become. ([Location 1160](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1160)) You’re rising beyond it by creating your own bubble within the culturescape where YOU make the rules. ([Location 1165](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1165)) You decide what to let in or reject. You’re engineering how your consciousness is shaped and influenced. ([Location 1167](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1167)) Computational thinking trains you to look at problems from all angles—to break down problems into processes and parts (decomposition), spot patterns (pattern recognition), and solve them in a very logical, linear fashion (algorithms). ([Location 1181](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1181)) Alpha is a brain wave frequency common in meditation where you’re in a relaxed state. People who advocate this type of meditation say that alpha puts you highly in tune with your intuition, ([Location 1220](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1220)) Listening to my intuition seemed to quadruple the odds of my calling a receptive lawyer. ([Location 1229](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1229)) Every few years, we upgrade our operating systems on our machines to make our computers run faster, better, and take on increasingly complex tasks with ease. But how many of us even think about doing the same for ourselves? ([Location 1271](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1271)) all boils down to just two things. 1. Your Models of Reality (Your Hardware) ([Location 1274](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1274)) But while your beliefs make you, your beliefs are NOT you. ([Location 1282](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1282)) You can use consciousness engineering to swap out old beliefs, swap in new ones, and take on new understandings of the world that might serve you better. Using ([Location 1282](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1282)) Replacing outdated models of reality is essential. ([Location 1288](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1288)) To an astonishing extent, they seem to influence the reality of the world that we experience every single day. ([Location 1289](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1289)) Thus the single most effective model of reality you can adopt right now is the idea that your models of reality are swappable. ([Location 1329](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1329)) 2. Your Systems for Living (Your Software) ([Location 1332](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1332)) Law 3: Practice consciousness engineering. Extraordinary minds understand that their growth depends on two things: their models of reality and their systems for living. They carefully curate the most empowering models and systems and frequently update themselves. ([Location 1344](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1344)) Our current models and systems have three limitations: 1. Our models of reality are programmed by the world we grew up in. 2. Our models of reality (good or bad) determine our systems for living. In short, bad beliefs create bad habits. 3. Our modern models and systems are lacking in conscious practices—we’re only just beginning to realize the power of our minds. ([Location 1349](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1349)) every aspect of human culture—of life as we live it day to day—is malleable, up for grabs, within our control, and open for questioning. Lesson 2: Our Models of Reality (Good or Bad) Determine Our Systems for Living The Achuar don’t have a model of reality for God in the way that most humans beings do. ([Location 1388](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1388)) Lesson 3: Our Modern Models and Systems Are Lacking in Conscious Practices ([Location 1411](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1411)) One of the questions I asked Ken was “what’s your vision of an ideal education curriculum for children?” This is what Ken told me: ([Location 1452](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1452)) Once you understand the consciousness engineering approach, you can view yourself as a highly tuned operating system ready to install new hardware (models of reality) or new apps (systems for living) when needed. You never get attached to the ones you have because you know newer, better ones are always being discovered. ([Location 1471](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1471)) How to Speed Up Your Learning Rate ([Location 1476](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1476)) “It is important to view knowledge as sort of a semantic tree—make sure you understand the fundamental principles, i.e. the trunk and big branches, before you get into the leaves/details or there is nothing for them to hang on to.” ([Location 1479](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1479)) Everything you study in personal growth will either be a model (a new belief about money, for example) or a system (say, a new exercise or diet routine). ([Location 1482](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1482)) I’ve found that by keeping this idea in mind, I can learn and grow faster than ever before. Once you internalize consciousness engineering, every time you pick up a book to read on personal growth or health, or an autobiography of a great leader, you start to look for model upgrades that you can swap in and new systems you can adopt. ([Location 1483](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1483)) First, we need to identify the key areas of our lives where we can apply consciousness engineering, and second, we need to pinpoint which of those areas could use some rebalancing. ([Location 1492](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1492)) From there, he divided his life into twelve separate categories, and for each category he mapped out four attributes: His beliefs, his vision, his purpose, and his strategy. He ([Location 1505](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1505)) Most people make decisions about what they want by reacting to their immediate circumstances. It doesn’t come from deep down in their heart. It doesn’t come from a place of creation. Rather, most people’s visions come from the collective voices of their culturescape—their parents, peers, teachers, and preachers. ([Location 1515](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1515)) Ready to start your adventure in consciousness engineering? Here goes: ([Location 1522](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1522)) Our beliefs are like unquestioned commands, telling us how things are, what’s possible and impossible and what we can and cannot do. They shape every action, every thought, and every feeling that we experience. ([Location 1576](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1576)) Much of growing wiser and moving toward the extraordinary is really about becoming aware of the models of reality that you carry with you without realizing it. ([Location 1617](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1617)) LESSON 2: We often carry disempowering models of reality that we inherited as far back as childhood. ([Location 1656](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1656)) that the biggest ailment afflicting human beings is the idea of “I am not enough.” ([Location 1672](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1672)) And I realized that the Brule I’d internalized was: To be a great teacher, you have to suffer. ([Location 1682](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1682)) Marisa asked. In my mind another Brule surfaced: Do not stand out. It’s not safe to stand out. ([Location 1700](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1700)) LESSON 3: When you replace disempowering models of reality with empowering ones, tremendous changes can occur in your life at a very rapid pace. ([Location 1712](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1712)) Dr. Moseley’s work rocked the medical establishment by showing that the placebo effect could apply to ailments for which they were performing surgery. ([Location 1748](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1748)) Your beliefs can influence both you and the people around you. What you expect, you get. ([Location 1762](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1762)) Law 4: Rewrite your models of reality. Extraordinary minds have models of reality that empower them to feel good about themselves and powerful in shifting the world to match the visions in their minds. ([Location 1766](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1766)) “No matter what you do, in any situation with your child, ask yourself, What beliefs is my child going to take away from this encounter? Will your child walk away thinking: I just made a mistake and I learned something great or I’m insignificant?” ([Location 1784](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1784)) of one thing he was grateful for that day. ([Location 1814](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1814)) Exercise: The “What I Love about Myself” Exercise ([Location 1835](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1835)) Thus far we’ve looked at internal models of reality, models that apply to how we perceive ourselves. But external models of reality are just as powerful in our lives. Your external models of reality are the beliefs you have about the world around you. ([Location 1845](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1845)) I believe human intuition is real, and with practice we can get better at tuning into it for decision making. ([Location 1863](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1863)) 2. There is power in mind-body healing. ([Location 1865](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1865)) So I started visualizing my skin getting better. I spent just five minutes, three times a day visualizing my skin undergoing healing. ([Location 1869](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1869)) also explain the exact method I used to heal my skin. You can download it as part of the free resources on www.mindvalley.com/extraordinary. ([Location 1878](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1878)) This culture of happiness at work significantly helps reduce the immense stress of racing to build a fast-growing company. ([Location 1888](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1888)) Whether you’re a CEO or a freelancer, an assistant or a manager, it is critically important that you find a way to enjoy your work. ([Location 1890](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1890)) 4. It is possible to be spiritual but not religious. ([Location 1901](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1901)) humanists believe that there is a “God,” but He’s certainly not the judgmental, angry being that many religious texts make Him out to be. ([Location 1907](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1907)) This new kind of religion asks that you move away from being a follower to being a creator. ([Location 1913](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1913)) Most important, we no longer feel pressure to choose one tradition over another but rather are able to appreciate many routes to spiritual richness. ([Location 1915](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1915)) Bad models can evaporate through sudden realizations—sometimes spontaneous ones (such as I had in the hot tub)—or through meditation, inspirational reading, or other mindfulness practices, including just sitting in a room by yourself, reflecting on your life, and asking yourself, Where did I come up with this particular world view? ([Location 1967](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1967)) Question 1: Is my model of reality absolute or relative truth? ([Location 1974](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1974)) The power to choose what we want to believe and what we want to disbelieve is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. ([Location 1986](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1986)) The best advice is often to listen to your heart and intuition. ([Location 1987](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1987)) Even what we take to be absolute truth today may not always be a truth in the future. ([Location 1988](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1988)) I believe the best thing we can do with outdated models of reality is to let them go gracefully. ([Location 1998](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1998)) True brilliance is not a function of understanding one’s view of the world and finding order, logic, and spirituality in it. True brilliance is understanding that your view of order, logic, and spirituality is what created your world and therefore being forever capable of changing everything. ([Location 2004](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2004)) I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better. I think that’s the single best piece of advice: Constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself. —ELON MUSK ([Location 2016](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2016)) It’s all about finding and hiring people smarter than you, getting them to join your business and giving them good work, then getting out of the way and trusting them. You have to get out of the way so you can focus on the bigger vision. That’s important, but here is the main thing: You must make them see their work as a mission. ([Location 2033](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2033)) But here’s the problem. Most of us are using systems that have long become obsolete. As Bill Jensen said in his book Future Strong: “Even as we enter one of the most disruptive eras in human history, one of the biggest challenges we face is that today’s systems and structures still live on, past their expiration dates. We are locked into twentieth-century approaches that are holding back the next big fundamental shifts in human capacity.” ([Location 2045](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2045)) When you optimize your systems for living, you can experience exponential growth in areas that truly matter to you. ([Location 2074](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2074)) EXTRAORDINARY PEOPLE DISCOVER EXTRAORDINARILY EFFECTIVE SYSTEMS ([Location 2076](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2076)) optimized. I try to upgrade at least one of my systems for living every week, not because I feel like things are always broken but because I know how energizing it is to try something new. ([Location 2078](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2078)) Many people discover new systems from books, conferences, or online courses. ([Location 2082](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2082)) 3. SET POINTS AND MEASUREMENT. ([Location 2093](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2093)) to create effective systems for governing your life. ([Location 2099](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2099)) You’re so busy doing what needs to be done, you don’t really know whether your systems for living might be obsolete, or even (pun intended) absolute crap. ([Location 2114](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2114)) Awareness is the essence of discovery. ([Location 2116](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2116)) At Mindvalley we used to bypass the do-do trap through a technique called Learn Day. ([Location 2120](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2120)) Have you updated the systems in any of these parts of your life recently? If not, it’s time to hit the refresh button. ([Location 2134](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2134)) I’ve added my personal favorite book, program, or podcast as a suggestion for something that might give you a bold new perspective on the subject. ([Location 2139](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2139)) I devised a tool called non-negotiable set points. ([Location 2195](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2195)) Step 1: Identify the areas of your life where you want to create set points. ([Location 2212](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2212)) Pick two or three to focus on, for which you’d like to set specific, achievable set points. ([Location 2213](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2213)) Make sure that your set points are absolutely achievable. You’ll see why in a minute. ([Location 2216](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2216)) My set point in this category is fifteen minutes minimum of daily meditation. ([Location 2249](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2249)) Establish set points for how often you journal your thoughts and visions or set intentions. Or how often you update your goals, or your Lifebook. ([Location 2261](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2261)) Step 3: Test your set points and correct if you miss. ([Location 2262](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2262)) Step 4: Turn up the heat—in a good way. ([Location 2271](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2271)) Turning up the heat just a little bit allows you to regain some momentum without setting yourself up to fail. ([Location 2286](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2286)) When you correct your set points by aiming slightly higher than before, you can put yourself on a path to constant improvement in every aspect of life. ([Location 2287](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2287)) Law 5: Upgrade your systems for living. Extraordinary minds consistently spend time discovering, upgrading, and measuring new systems for living applied to life, work, heart, and soul. They are in a perpetual state of growth and self-innovation. ([Location 2289](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2289)) Just as we can wash our bodies, so we can have systems to completely “wash” our minds of these debilitating feelings. ([Location 2303](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2303)) Now I don’t do that. And just taking this time—sometimes it can be literally a minute to just look ahead at my day and fill myself with gratitude for the blessings in my life, and set my intention for the day—it immediately takes away this false urgency that we bring into our lives that creates such unnecessary stress. ([Location 2336](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2336)) You can watch a video of my full conversation with Arianna at www.mindvalley.com/extraordinary ([Location 2354](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2354)) You want to do more, be more, contribute more. ([Location 2367](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2367)) What exactly is happiness, and how can I be happy in the present? ■ What are my goals and visions for the future? ([Location 2376](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2376)) I call it Blissipline: the discipline of daily bliss. ([Location 2379](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2379)) I was “gamifying” my life. ([Location 2426](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2426)) Instead, you’re going to question and redefine two of the biggest pillars of how we define success—namely, happiness and the attainment of goals. ([Location 2501](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2501)) Stop postponing your happiness. Be happy now. Your thoughts and beliefs do create your reality, but only when your present state is joyful. ([Location 2517](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2517)) Keep the big goals—just don’t tie your happiness to your goals. Be happy now. ([Location 2521](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2521)) Have big goals—but don’t tie your happiness to your goals. You must be happy before you attain them. ([Location 2530](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2530)) THE TWO ELEMENTS OF BENDING REALITY ([Location 2570](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2570)) We shouldn’t do things so we can be happy. We should be happy so we can do things. ([Location 2603](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2603)) WE CONFUSE BRULES WITH GOALS. ([Location 2623](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2623)) WE CAN ONLY VISUALIZE WHAT WE KNOW. ([Location 2626](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2626)) WE’RE NOTORIOUSLY BAD AT PREDICTING JUST WHAT WE CAN DO IN A GIVEN TIME FRAME. ([Location 2630](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2630)) It turns out that our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive. ([Location 2682](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2682)) How Happiness Happens ([Location 2731](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2731)) 1. Happiness from Special and Unique Experiences ([Location 2733](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2733)) 2. Happiness from Growth and Awakening ([Location 2739](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2739)) 3. Happiness from Meaning ([Location 2744](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2744)) Studies show that each of us has a particular level of happiness that we tend to return to after things happen, good or bad. Researchers call this phenomenon hedonic adaptation. ([Location 2761](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2761)) THE PATH TO BLISSIPLINE: THREE SYSTEMS FOR ADVANCING YOUR HAPPINESS LEVELS ([Location 2768](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2768)) Blissipline System 1: The Power of Gratitude ([Location 2777](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2777)) The benefits will be even greater if you share them, and hearing what others feel grateful for may inspire you to find more gratitude in your own life. ([Location 2843](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2843)) Blissipline System 2: Forgiveness ([Location 2845](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2845)) Forgiveness. ([Location 2873](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2873)) We had to forgive every single person in our lives who had wronged us, even if it was in the slightest way imaginable. I had to forgive high-school teachers, business partners, family members—everyone I could think of who I believed had wronged me, big or small. ([Location 2877](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2877)) Exercise: Liberate Yourself and Truly Forgive Here’s how to do a simplified variation of the forgiveness exercise I learned. ([Location 2902](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2902)) I learned from this experience that you don’t have to ask the other person to forgive you. You just have to forgive them. And that’s completely within your control. ([Location 2928](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2928)) UNFUCKWITHABLE: When you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself. Nothing anyone says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you. ([Location 2934](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2934)) Be merciless with your kindness. ([Location 2973](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2973)) - 💭 ok Exercise: Ways of Giving ([Location 2974](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2974)) most important things to understand about Blissipline. You can be surrounded by pain. You can be empathetic and feel for others, but ultimately the discipline of bliss allows you to help spread more bliss in the world. That ([Location 2998](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2998)) Law 7: Live in Blissipline. Extraordinary minds understand that happiness comes from within. They begin with happiness in the now and use it as a fuel to drive all their other visions and intentions for themselves and the world. ([Location 3001](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3001)) Dreams, visions, aspirations, goals—call them what you will—these are essential to an extraordinary life. ([Location 3016](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3016)) Often people confuse means goals with end goals. ([Location 3041](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3041)) End goals are the beautiful, exciting rewards of being human on planet Earth. End goals are about experiencing love, traveling around the world being truly happy, contributing to the planet because doing so gives you meaning, and learning a new skill for the pure joy of it. End goals speak to your soul. They bring you joy in and of themselves, not because they confer any outward label, standard, or value attached by society. Nor are end goals undertaken for the purpose of pay or for material reward. They are the experiences that create the best memories in our lives. ([Location 3044](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3044)) But when means goals become your focus, you miss the point. ([Location 3060](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3060)) “A good goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot.” ([Location 3061](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3061)) THE IMPORTANT DISTINCTION: MEANS GOALS VERSUS END GOALS ([Location 3150](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3150)) MEANS GOALS USUALLY HAVE A “SO” IN THEM. ([Location 3154](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3154)) Is your goal one you think you “should” meet as part of achieving your ultimate goal—for ([Location 3160](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3160)) END GOALS ARE ABOUT FOLLOWING YOUR HEART. ([Location 3166](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3166)) END GOALS ARE OFTEN FEELINGS. ([Location 3172](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3172)) but they are not end goals UNLESS you’re happy AS you’re pursuing them—in ([Location 3174](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3174)) I’ve found that all end goals fall into three different buckets. ([Location 3179](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3179)) We’re here to experience all the world has to offer—not objects, not money, but experiences. ([Location 3180](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3180)) Growth deepens our wisdom and awareness. ([Location 3183](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3183)) The third is contribution. It is what we give back from the wealth of our experiences and growth. ([Location 3184](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3184)) THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS 1. What experiences do you want to have in this lifetime? 2. How do you want to grow? 3. How do you want to contribute? ([Location 3187](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3187)) If time and money were no object and I did not have to seek anyone’s permission, what kinds of experiences would my soul crave? ([Location 3198](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3198)) Law 8: Create a vision for your future. Extraordinary minds create a vision for their future that is decidedly their own and free from expectations of the culturescape. Their vision is focused on end goals that strike a direct chord with their happiness. ([Location 3265](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3265)) You aren’t just showing that you care—you are making someone totally light up as they recognize that their dreams are supported by others. It’s a great way to build trust. Meaningful gestures need not be expensive; they simply need to be genuine. ([Location 3308](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3308)) Exercise: Ask Yourself the Three Most Important Questions ([Location 3310](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3310)) FOLLOW THESE FIVE STEPS TO STAY ON TRACK. ([Location 3324](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3324)) This happens when we attach our sense of self-worth and happiness to someone or something outside of ourselves. ([Location 3415](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3415)) Unfuckwithable: A Definition When you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself. Nothing anyone says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you. ([Location 3423](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3423)) Law 9: Be unfuckwithable. Extraordinary minds do not need to seek validation from outside opinion or through the attainment of goals. Instead, they are truly at peace with themselves and the world around them. They live fearlessly—immune to criticism or praise and fueled by their own inner happiness and self-love. ([Location 3428](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3428)) good end goal is something you have absolute control over. No object or person can take it away from you. ([Location 3450](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3450)) “To be consistently surrounded by love.” ([Location 3460](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3460)) “To be the best father I can be.” ([Location 3465](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3465)) empowered by my own self-love, I stopped unfairly demanding love from others. ([Location 3470](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3470)) such as mastermind groups, online courses, and “brain exchanges,” ([Location 3485](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3485)) When your goals change, your means of attainment change. A good goal can open up new and innovative ways of reaching ([Location 3486](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3486)) I will always have the most amazing and beautiful human experiences. ([Location 3491](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3491)) Replacing fear with courage is one of the key components of being unfuckwithable. ([Location 3500](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3500)) Most people live their lives consistently bothered and worried about not being loved enough, about not succeeding fast enough, not being significant, not being impressive, losing the things that make us happy. But when you let go of the Brules that lead you to the wrong priorities, look beyond your means goals and create self-fueled end goals, you’ve effectively bother-proofed yourself. ([Location 3501](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3501)) When you become unfuckwithable, it doesn’t mean you’re settling for small goals. Instead, it means you’ve stopped setting goals for things you think you need to get from other people. ([Location 3505](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3505)) My happiness in the now fuels my vision for the future, and that vision fuels my happiness, because a key part of it (love, learning, and human experiences) is already happening. It all connects. ([Location 3512](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3512)) Marisa Peer, in her much-watched A-Fest speech, calls the mental models we carry around that say we are not enough the “Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity.” ([Location 3520](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3520)) Because the model of reality that we are not enough is terribly painful, we live our lives trying to prove that we’re enough. Sometimes this can be an asset; for example, my drive to prove I was enough led me to a certain degree of entrepreneurial success. But it’s not the optimal path, because working to disprove the model of not being enough has a hidden cost. That cost is that you will depend on others for validation. ([Location 3522](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3522)) This model robs you of your own ability to control your life. ([Location 3538](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3538)) In order to be truly unfuckwithable, you need to lose your need to seek validation or love from others and to judge them when you perceive that they are not giving you what you need. ([Location 3539](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3539)) When you plug this hole within yourself and stop demanding that others fill it for you, you actually improve the chances of having the kind of great relationships you long for. ([Location 3545](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3545)) You were born enough. And we should be able to feel secure and complete in our own skin without others having to support us. Fortunately, there are some powerful tools and practices to help. ([Location 3571](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3571)) EXERCISES FOR BECOMING UNFUCKWITHABLE ([Location 3573](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3573)) Exercise 1: The Person in the Mirror (for Creating Self-Love) ([Location 3576](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3576)) One of Kamal’s techniques is for you to look at yourself in the mirror and say the words, “I love you.” Talking to yourself in the mirror is like speaking directly to your own soul—especially when you’re gazing at yourself in the eye. ([Location 3580](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3580)) Simply think about what it is about you as a human being that you love. ([Location 3595](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3595)) Exercise 3: Becoming Present (to Remove Sudden Fear and Anxiety) ([Location 3602](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3602)) took my attention away from the fears and worries. Instead, I focused on the leaves of the plant on the restaurant table before me. ([Location 3612](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3612)) The next time you feel an apparent urge to lose your cool, or you feel judged, insulted, or hurt by a loved one, remember to be present. This quick mental hack to autocorrect your mental state can instantly pull you out of stress and anxiety and return you to happiness in the now. ([Location 3617](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3617)) Sonia suggests that the way to do this is to draw your mind to any color, texture, or object you see in front of you. And then go deep with your observation. You ([Location 3619](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3619)) For some reason, this act causes a sudden drop in anxiety and other negative feelings. To amplify the effect, focus on your breathing, too. ([Location 3621](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3621)) Focus on the rising and falling of your breath for ten seconds whenever you feel tense, rushed, or distracted. Arianna said: ([Location 3622](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3622)) If it is true that “I am enough” and if we don’t need to get validation or praise from others, what is the driving force that pushes us to do big things in the world? ([Location 3630](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3630)) But if you believe that you’re enough, that’s when you take action. ([Location 3636](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3636)) And even if you fail, you won’t take rejection personally because it’s not you—you ARE enough—so it must be your methods or your approach or skill or whatever—and because you know you’re enough, you know you can then improve those methods and skills and your approaches and then try again. I ([Location 3638](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3638)) When you learn how to fill the holes within, and you no longer need outside validation to know you are enough and when you set end goals that come from your deepest feelings about living a meaningful life, you have graduated to the next level in recoding yourself and moving forward on your path toward the extraordinary. You’re now armed with the fortitude you need to take on truly massive goals—goals that change the culturescape itself and create a dent in the universe. ([Location 3644](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3644)) The problem with most people is that their problems aren’t big enough. ([Location 3650](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3650)) Thus as you ascend the levels, your relationship with life changes: First Life happens TO you. Then Life happens as you CHOOSE. Then Life happens FROM you. Then Life happens THROUGH you. ([Location 3690](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3690)) The most extraordinary people in the world do not have careers. What they have is a calling. ([Location 3710](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3710)) A calling is your contribution to the human race. ([Location 3711](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3711)) She defines work in three ways: 1. A JOB is a way to pay the bills. It’s a means to an end, and you have little attachment to it. 2. A CAREER is a path toward growth and achievement. Careers have clear ladders for upward mobility. 3. A CALLING is work that is an important part of your life and provides meaning. People with a calling are generally more satisfied with the work they do. ([Location 3719](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3719)) When you pursue the right end goals while making sure you’re happy in the now, happiness unlocks the door for luck to come calling. ([Location 3740](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3740)) The path may not be a straight line. You might have old Brules, models of reality, and systems for living (your own and maybe others’) to challenge or dismantle first. ([Location 3742](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3742)) Sometimes you have to destroy a part of your life to let the next big thing enter. ([Location 3745](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3745)) “Live life as though everything is rigged in your favor.” ([Location 3749](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3749)) Kensho is growth by pain. Satori is growth by awakening. ([Location 3756](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3756)) Behind every problem, there’s a question trying to ask itself. ([Location 3780](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3780)) Behind every question, there’s an answer trying to reveal itself. Behind every answer, there’s an action trying to take place. And behind every action, there’s a way of life trying to be born. ([Location 3780](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3780)) nature is the CEO of the company and then we’re all the employees. ([Location 3798](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3798)) It’s called multiple discovery. ([Location 3809](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3809)) it’s true that the universe does come calling and has chosen you for its grand new design, whatever that is, then it means that just like every great hero in legend, film, or the best computer games, you are literally the Chosen One for your particular quest. Remember. You. Are. The. Chosen. One. Ain’t that something? ([Location 3814](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3814)) Each is a unique approach to living, and each leads to the other: 1. Extraordinary people feel a unique connectedness and kinship to all life. 2. Extraordinary people are open to intuitive insights they attain through this connection. 3. Extraordinary people allow their intuition to lead them to a vision that pulls them forward. 4. As extraordinary people serve this calling, the universe blesses them with luck. ([Location 3822](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3822)) there is a God, or Universe, or Life Force, or whatever we choose to call it, I believe that it is deeply connected with all of life and all of humanity. ([Location 3832](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3832)) The idea is that you, me, and every other human being on this planet are Godicles experiencing creation. ([Location 3834](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3834)) The Godicle Theory is interesting to me because of what it implies: First, that all of us are connected, all life is connected, and we’re all in this together. Second, if we’re all connected, then we’re capable of intuitive insights gained from this connection. Third, there is a higher collective mind that seeks new visions for the betterment of itself and that picks individual Godicles to work on them. These Godicles experience this calling as their “quest.” And finally, if we are particles of God, then it’s beautiful to think that we are endowed with certain God-like powers. ([Location 3837](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3837)) they viewed a particular idea or group of people as being superior to another group. This is the opposite of true connectedness, for true connectedness does not recognize borders, color, or other such models of differentiation. ([Location 3857](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3857)) The truly extraordinary have reverence for humanity as a whole. ([Location 3858](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3858)) Thanks to intuition, when you set end goals, you don’t necessarily need to know HOW to attain them. ([Location 3864](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3864)) he meditates every day and after his usual meditation he stays seated and goes into a process he calls “thinkitation.” While “thinkitating,” he ponders his business and life and looks for new ideas. ([Location 3870](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3870)) When we meditate, our brain frequencies slow down to what is known as the alpha level. This is the brain wave state associated with intuition. ([Location 3872](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3872)) When you are living under a goal-oriented model, you are PUSHED; you need motivation. [But] when you are living your purpose, you are now PULLED by a vision. ([Location 3880](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3880)) But motivation is only needed when you’re chasing a Brule—a means goal. When you chase end goals, especially end goals related to your calling, you no longer need to be “motivated.” ([Location 3885](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3885)) When you’re working on a goal that is out of alignment with your calling, very often you will face roadblocks. This is why we sometimes fail to reach our goals. ([Location 3889](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3889)) But think of these roadblocks as kensho moments—as gentle taps to get your blinders off so you can see what you’re really meant to be doing with your life. ([Location 3890](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3890)) Failure is often nothing more than good luck in disguise: the destruction of an old way of life so you can create the next grand vision of yourself. ([Location 3892](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3892)) Law 10: Embrace your quest. Extraordinary minds are motivated by a quest or calling—a drive to create some positive change in the world. This drive propels them forward in life and helps them to gain meaning and make a meaningful contribution. ([Location 3896](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3896)) Entrepreneurism is a means goal, not an end goal. ([Location 3911](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3911)) Is your company a humanity-plus or a humanity-minus company? ([Location 3927](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3927)) You don’t have to save the world. Just don’t mess it up for the next generation. ([Location 3942](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3942)) The first question is: Recall a time when you experienced Heaven on Earth. What was happening? The second question is: Imagine you have a magic wand and with it you can create Heaven on Earth. What is Heaven on Earth for you? And now the final question: What simple, easy, concrete step(s) will you take in the next twenty-four hours to make Heaven on Earth real? ([Location 3947](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3947)) I’ll tell you that it’s perseverance; it’s having a heartfelt passion and emotionally driven passion—something you want to solve on the planet that wakes you up in the morning and keeps you up at night. For other people, it might be something they despise or some injustice in the world they want to solve. I know a lot of the time, doing anything big and bold in the world is hard, unless you have that emotional guiding star, that passion—most people fail by giving up—not by something that stops them. ([Location 3965](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3965)) Failing or getting fired means nothing except the meaning you give it. Often it’s an opportunity to discover what you’re going to be truly good at. ([Location 3997](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3997)) There’s nothing more captivating than a person vibrant with life and passion and pursuing their calling. They come from having end goals that bring meaning and from being happy in the now. People who radiate this energy are magnetic because they’re living meaningful lives and helping others do the same. When you live at the level of extraordinary, you’ll attract others who want to live there, too. And together, you’ll create a better world for the generations who follow. ([Location 4004](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4004)) Your true greatness comes when you focus not on building a career but on finding your quest. ([Location 4007](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4007)) So, don’t worry if you don’t know exactly how to reach your goals. Just take one small step at a time. 1. Step out of the culturescape. 2. Toss away the Brules. 3. Grab your toolkit for consciousness engineering. 4. Pick up your empowering models of reality. 5. Don’t forget to pack your systems for living. 6. Keep your mind firmly on bending reality. 7. Walk with Blissipline. 8. Hold your end goals firmly in your hand. 9. Be unfuckwithable. 10. Open that door and march firmly toward your quest. The ([Location 4020](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4020)) This practice will help you: ■ Make Blissipline part of your daily life and extend your happiness levels throughout the day. ■ Focus on your end goals and the steps you need to take to get there. ■ Become unfuckwithable by clearing out negative thoughts and practicing forgiveness, compassion, and gratitude. ■ Connect to your intuition and inner voice, find an optimal path to your quest, and steer clear of Brules. Often during the Six-Phase, flashes of insight, ideas, and eureka moments will come. ■ Gain resilience to move past the inevitable bumps on the road to your calling. ([Location 4079](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4079)) Because you’ve imagined a beautiful reality, your RAS is more likely to pay attention to the ambiance, the company, and the food than to the screw-up, because you told it to. You see? ([Location 4167](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4167)) HOW TO PRACTICE THE SIX-PHASE ([Location 4208](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4208)) Phase 1: Compassion ([Location 4230](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4230)) Phase 2: Gratitude ([Location 4243](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4243)) Phase 3: Forgiveness ([Location 4252](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4252)) Keep in mind that the person could be you. You could be forgiving yourself for something you did in the past that still gnaws at you. ([Location 4255](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4255)) Phase 4: Future Dreams ([Location 4272](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4272)) Phase 5: The Perfect Day ([Location 4283](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4283)) Phase 6: The Blessing ([Location 4293](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=4293))