--- ## Notes - [[Familiarity bias]] ## Highlights What if a teacher could design a lesson that students were still reflecting on years later? What if a manager knew exactly how to turn an employee’s moment of failure into a moment of growth? What if you had a better sense of how to create lasting memories for your kids? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dwmr812vyq7zd4s55a3knq)) Our lives are measured in moments, and defining moments are the ones that endure in our memories ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dwws884xzh0e7z9fr3t34t)) research has found that in recalling an experience, we ignore most of what happened and focus instead on a few particular moments. Specifically, two moments will stand out: ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dwy364bdv4y4hevz10f92d)) When people assess an experience, they tend to forget or ignore its length—a phenomenon called “duration neglect.” Instead, they seem to rate the experience based on two key moments: (1) the best or worst moment, known as the “peak”; and (2) the ending. Psychologists call it the “peak-end rule.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dwzkcmj9wgk4pmvfhce2k7)) critical lesson for anyone in service businesses—from restaurants to medical clinics to call centers to spas—where success hinges on the customer experience ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dx33tmbm6p75jgz863y8j4)) when you phone the “Popsicle Hotline,” is that a defining moment? In the context of a lifetime, certainly not. (Hard to imagine a deathbed regret: “If only I’d chosen the grape . . .”) But in the context of a vacation? Of course it’s a defining moment. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dx6xz28d5b155k85v0hbgz)) we tend to ignore this truth. We’re not very good at investing in such moments. For example, a teacher plans his history curriculum for a semester, but every class period gets roughly the same amount of attention. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dx8x3g8mn7mkkvehcyy45x)) a defining moment is a short experience that is both memorable and meaningful. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dxgahrkvs432jkzq1jwn1w)) defining moments are created from one or more of the following four elements: ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dxgy4w3w7en4w0apnrgkkn)) ELEVATION: Defining moments rise above the everyday. They provoke not just transient happiness, like laughing at a friend’s joke, but memorable delight. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dxmnwq8cvp6nxmmt3j3fmj)) an element of surprise. We’ll see why surprise can warp our perceptions of time ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dxn4fbe241n4enwxxb9jdr)) INSIGHT: Defining moments rewire our understanding of ourselves or the world. In a few seconds or minutes, we realize something that might influence our lives for decades ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dxnh7jr1b35fk8cnf1645b)) PRIDE: Defining moments capture us at our best—moments of achievement, moments of courage. To create such moments, we need to understand something about the architecture of pride—how to plan for a series of milestone moments that build on each other en route to a larger goa ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dxpsrhyw25xqwvk8pxdw8m)) CONNECTION: Defining moments are social: we ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h5dxrf5d5rp4kx4qr2hfmqz1))