In February, I quit my programming internship because the work felt more like a repetitive chore than the intrinsic passion I've naturally obsessed over. On the other hand, my friend Matthew always gives his absolute focus and determination to whatever he works on, which seems like an enigma. How could you be so hyper-fixated on working on coding or startups, where you'd have to use the logical side of your brain for 10+ hours a day? Do you not feel mentally exhausted by the end? But before my relationship with coding drifted apart, there was always something intrinsically motivating about the activity that kept me in a prolonged state of flow. Fortunately, I've been able to tap into that magic again while building this app. Maybe for you, it’s the niche topic you were curiously exploring and taking notes on but is now collecting dust. Or an old hobby that slowly faded away as other responsibilities took over. For me, using AI to self-learn new topics like current AI capabilities and mobile development has been super fun! Seeing it all visually come to fruition through an MVP of the app in 3 days has been fulfilling. It’s been a while since I’d willingly spent 30ish hours in 3 days on such an intellectually challenging task without any regrets. The constant growth from this self-learning and applied learning is the epitome of [[Freedom|Autonomy]] and [[My Resources/My MOCs/Mastery|Competence]]  from [[Self-determination theory]]. Experiencing synergized collaboration with other passionate and skilled people has helped me compensate for my lack of design skills while picking up where the team needs me, whether on the front end, back end, operations, etc. It's the extreme filter to prevent “productivity porn” — instead of mindlessly consuming information without it not having any practical or meaningful value, project-based learning has helped me better internalize concepts and practices better than my school lectures ever did. Beyond [[Propositional knowing]] and more into [[Non-propositional knowing]]. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by everything I have to learn and the unexpected coding challenges I have to overcome, having AI as my programming assistant has been monumental for keeping me in these engaging states of flow and growth. Being able to combine my diverse interests—tools for thought, entrepreneurship, product management, front-end development, and harnessing the power of AI—into this unique blend has made me remember the unparalleled fulfillment of being a generalist and pursuing a pathless path. This mindset brings me back to the start of my self-improvement journey: my senior year of high school, a time when I was writing scholarship essays and applications with an ambitious hope for the future — to stretch myself beyond my limits and figure out a unique path of purpose during my journey of self-actualization. But as much as I enjoy all of this, it's also suddenly amplified by my ADHD tendencies. Since quitting my job, my main priority has been attending to all the areas of my life. When I get into these coding states, I neglect the balanced life I've been cultivating, causing chaos in my habit trackers and [[Wheel of life]] ratings… Fortunately, my life design systems have been helping me stay grounded and aware, making this hyper-fixation a conscious activity I accept rather than an unregulated compulsion. I have still committed to enough time to feel satisfied, but not to the level of my ideal balanced days. The idea that this might not work out is also concerning. Startups are statistically unprofitable, and putting so much time and commitment into something makes me feel even more uncertain, in addition to my efforts toward my creator journey. A part of me questions whether it would be wiser to apply these programming skills to something with greater job security, but I know that would be acting out of survival and limiting my growth. I wouldn’t want to lose this passion once more. This has also made me think about my relationship with hyper-fixation. Is it a signal for meaning and fulfillment of our values, or is it just a disguised form of hedonism that only distracts us from living a balanced life? I guess that’ll be for another writing 😅