read your social book highlights when did you read this? interesting how much of the initial highlights are related to fear, and how correlated the two were. i mean it kind of makes sense because where else would those negative feelings go lol i like how it touches in on adjacent ideas like the value of money, biological thingsl ike working memory, etc Lieberman claims that it is because of our ‘mentalizing system’ that “we do not see bodies as mere bodies, but rather as sentient vessels directed by minds.” (p120). Or at least one would hope we see bodies as more than bodies, but being a woman tells a slightly different story. - for this i watched a video about how online social interaction greatly diminishes the innate responsiblity for compassion because of how integral a human's facial expressions are to seeing them as human and kindred, you've probably heard of her [https://youtu.be/ess1HfZzxss?si=JhYxR5sUsPahsRE3](https://youtu.be/ess1HfZzxss?si=JhYxR5sUsPahsRE3) i liked the idea on the different way we view fitting in in the west (conformity) vs east (harmonizing), and am unsure on what differentiates the two. maybe it has to do with other core values of each society like capitalism and individualism vs socialism and collectivism "The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.” (p219) [from Author Henry Miller]. - wtf is this quote interesting opinion on how "Humans are desperate for control so we worship it in the people we make famous (athletes, models, the beautiful and the disciplined).", that all these qualities boil down to the simple act of being disciplined. i think there is some truth and is related to the reason why i time block. instead of all these different facets you have to fight friction for (ugh i need to stay fit by working out, i need to stay focused while working, i need to stay creative while writing my next blog post, you somewhat reduce all of these selves into one characteristic - am i time blocker or not? do i follow what my previous self planned me to do, which was forged based on my values or do i not? Lieberman explains the fault of this measurement, “if you are below the poverty line, every additional $1000 you earn dramatically alters your well-being. But once your basic needs are met, increasing income only adds the tiniest bit to well-being.” (p244). He notes economist who track individuals across decades to identify how income changes well-being, and the finding that “some people were making substantially more money at the end of ten years and some were making substantially less, but well-being was unrated to these changes” (p245). When is it enough? - i personally think this question can only be answered when having some form of life design. you get to visualize the average expenses of necessities (Rent, groceries, etc), and then based on your hobbies you either have extra income to work with (side hustles), or less (eating out, travelling). and considering you're not much into consumerism and prefer nature i would say it probalby wouldn't be far off from what your necessity needs are with a bit of allowance “Having a friend whom you see on most days, compared to not having such a friend, had the same impact on well-being as making an extra $100,000 a year… ‘Good’ health, compared to ‘not good’ health [was] equivalent to about a $400,000 salary bonus.” (p247). Remember how rich you really are. Money is a means not an end. Fulfillment and happiness come from the intangibles. - okay THIS is a crazy quote. it's easy to attain "good" health much more than it is to attain a 400k salary bonus. i guess that's why the adult entertainment industry is booming since it goes one step further than just having a friend 😭 Lieberman also notes internet usage, including one study that found “individuals who used the internet more decreased communication with their families, had shrinking social networks, and reported increased depression and loneliness.” (p255). This is likely for the same reason, that it crowds out other activities. People talk about the amazing social potential of the internet, but is anyone actually happier and more connected? Having many light connections or knowing about many people is not fulfilling, it just gives you a wider pool to compare yourself to. For me, relationships have to be in-person to be worthwhile at all. - okay social media used in traditional means is dogshit. it's shallow and it should be used to ENCOURAGE in-person interaction, and should not be a means of interaction in itself. this is the same argument made in "digital minimalism. nonetheless, i think a big reason why i am still a proponent to it is [https://notes.johnmavrick.com/why-i-choose-to-live-online/](https://notes.johnmavrick.com/why-i-choose-to-live-online/) “Human capital is the amount of intelligence, experience and education a person has.” (p262). This feels dehumanizing. Even my education, my selfish act, is a business resource. - no shit lol that's why they hire you if you have a degree 🤪 Lieberman explains that the opportunity to care for others in the workplace is a counterintuitive way to increase productivity and satisfaction because “we are reinforced by the actions we take to care for others” and “the chance to help others motivates people to work harder in the workplace.” (p264). Lieberman notes professor Adam Grant’s insight that “for most people in most lines of work, doing something meaningful means helping others. It is hard to find meaning in what we do if at some level it doesn’t help someone else or make someone happier.” (p264). Therefore, to motivate others, you can simply remind them of how their work helps others. (p265). We can only be fulfilled when we extend beyond the self and have a ripple somewhere else, otherwise we are a black hole. - i can see why you emphasize SAP's overall vision now lmao. but at the same time, that meaning is personally derived. lots of janitors (could even use the filipino workers at SAP or my own dad) obviously do not find cleaning the most insanely fulfilling job in the world, but their reason for doing so (making money to give back to the philippines, helping pay for my education and upbringing) is MORE than enough to make them persevere. this only further emphasizes the power of social interaction Lieberman also mentions that “intelligence and empathy were each associated with leadership, however, intelligence and empathy were negatively correlated with one-another.” (p272). I wonder why this is? - i think this is because intelligence may force you to make the most optional decision for company growth, while empathy focuses on the employees and their potential. in both cases they ultimately. it's somewhat similar to asking if you were the coach of a high school basketball team and had to choose who to bring to the nationals, would it be the people who are not the best but show lots of potential and growth and hard work and passion? or would it be the people who are objectively good through measured statistics and accomplishments? Lieberman explains that standard education should include discussions of social psychology and questions why “unlike nearly everything else in life, we are each left to our own devices to figure out the social world.” (p292). Honestly it’s absurd that we learn nothing about psychology in elementary or high school. My psychology courses have been (one of) my enlightenments and made me so much more understanding and empathetic. I am a better person in the world now. - 100%. but then what would you replace? or would you add onto our courseloads? i think just learning about psychology and philosophy, whether it be through school or through reading, has radically transformed me. In a discussion of social psychology and physical activity, Lieberman explains that “new neurons can be born in adulthood, and this process might be stimulated by exercise.” (p294) and study findings that suggest physical self-control practice from motor tasks can improve emotional regulation. He summarizes the study, “the better an individual got at motor self-control over the course of the eight training sessions, the more their emotion regulation ability improved.”(p297). I wonder if doing yoga makes you have amazing emotional regulation then? - good thing i listen to podcasts while i workout 🤪 obviously my main intent for both practices is to practice my social patience Lieberman cites Mother Teresa who claimed “life without other people ‘is the worst disease than any human can ever experience.’” (p299). I can attest, yes. - 😭🤝 “No matter how smart of rational we become, we can’t outthink our basic needs.” (p299). But we are really trying. We might all be happier if we focused on the bottom of the pyramid (good food, enough sleep, exercise, cleanliness, safety, social connection) than the top (status, power, money, possessions). I feel like the 'smarter' you get the more you forget the soft stuff. It is a cold, empty world but for the warmth that connects us. - I would take a look at the book "Transcend" 's updated version of maslow's hierarchy of needs. I think that is the intellectual's foundation for a meaningful and fulfilling life. reading that book has woken me up to what really matters in this world. nice selection of highlights 👍